Eager Beaver,
I was the subject of what at first was a flattering conversation and then turned into a "what the ....?" I wore a new top today and apparently the color is very good for me because one male co-worker couldn't keep from commenting on how good I looked! Which, of course, I totally appreciated! Then another male co-worker came by and asked what we were talking about and the first said "look at her!" and the other co-worker said "Oh, yeah, she looks good but I don't look at her as a sexual object..." and the first says "Pity you!" which made us all laugh. But the other co-worker continued and said "Yeah but she doesn't yell at you in morning meetings so I look at her as a wife." We all laughed at that too, and yes, he was kidding about the yelling, but technically in our morning meetings I am the "boss" of him so we knew what he was saying. Umm, yeah, so we knew what he was saying...that wives aren't sexy! Because then I said "Oh, so that's when women become desexualized, when we become wives, remind me not to let that happen again!" Aaargh! It's true though: marriage desexualizes you which is why you see so many women and men get their A-game back on when they're going through a divorce or right afterwards. It's so frustrating, I mean, I think I may want to get married again some day, jury's still out, BUT I definitely don't if my husband will eventually just see me as a piece of furniture again. I guess that's why there are sooo many articles in women's magazines about rekindling the romance. It's just one of the inherent pitfalls of living with someone on a daily basis and I'm not sure there is a solution to this with even the best intentioned couples. Maybe that piece of paper is where it all goes wrong? Look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, together over 27 years! Here's what Goldie has to say about not being married but keeping the relationship alive:
"I think the secret is to know when to depend on somebody and when not to. It’s important that you are able to hold up your side of the house. I believe that one person can’t bear the whole burden because then their shoulders start getting heavy. The other part is to stay as sexy as you can and make sure you focus on all of those aspects of a healthy relationship — and sexuality is definitely one of them."
Read more: http://anythinghollywood.com/2009/03/hollywoods-golden-couple-goldie-hawn-and-kurt-russell/#ixzz1QhpsNPP4
I'm not sure why married couples let it go but I think it's an attitude of "I got the prize so now I don't have to try anymore." Which is exactly the opposite of what you should be thinking, you should probably be trying even harder to "keep the prize" because unfortunately that old but familiar saying "familiarity breeds contempt" is true for a reason. So, Eager Beaver, I know you want to be married some day, and that's a good thing, but please remember to keep your sexy on, not just for your spouse but for yourself too!
-Still Got it Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
First of all I have to say you are ONE HOT MAMA! You were hot when you were married and you are still smokin' hot now that you are single, and look at least 10 years younger than you actually are. So I am certainly not surprised that your male co-workers were commenting on how good you look. I do think it is interesting though that he said he saw you as a "wife" which is why he couldn't look at you in a sexual way. How about because of the fact that you work together... haha regardless it makes me wonder about what is waiting at home. I don't know if it's just women in marriages or long-term relationships or what. Why would you let yourself go, once you get what you've worked so hard for? I really don't understand that mentality at all... not even a little bit. Like really, just because you get married you are allowed to gain a bunch of weight and get stop dressing nicely or fixing your hair or make-up when you are going out with your man? When I find a man that I want to spend the rest of my life with, then I will be working every day so my husband looks at me as the hot and sexy woman he married and not just another piece of furniture. I want to always be the most attractive thing in my husbands life!! We will NOT let this happen to us. I would hate for my future husband to say something like that to his co-workers. And looking good and taking care of yourself makes YOU feel good too, and it shows that you take pride in yourself. I plan to keep workin' it til my last days on this earth!
-EagerBeaver
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Call me Mrs. Kardashian...
Hot Mama,
It's no secret that I am addicted to "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." And I do in fact, keep up with the crazy clan. In the most recent episode Kris is debating changing her name from Jenner back to Kardashian. Which naturally made me extremely upset, as I am a huge Bruce fan. And I think he puts up with so much from the women in that family, the ringleader of which is Kris. So she says that she thinks she should change it back because Kardashian has become a "brand." And as she says, "People already think I'm a Kardashian and call me Mrs. Kardashian."
I think the best part was the reaction from all of the girls when Kris told them. Both the Kardashian and Jenner girls couldn't believe the audacity of Kris. Kendall even went so far as to say, "How could you disrespect my Dad like that?" Which is so true! Who do you think you are Kris?! You are so lucky to have a wonderful and devoted husband who has put up with you and your shennanigans for 20 plus years. Not to mention that he RAISED the Kardashian children as his own! Such a sign of disrespect. And really is it worth the attention / fame / whatever she thought she would get out of this to emasculate her husband and on top of that really hurt his feelings? He's the one who goes to sleep with you every night, not the press, not the public, but him. I just couldn't even believe it. Then at the end of the episode she makes a big announcement at a family dinner that she feels bad about considering changing it to Kardashian and that she loves Bruce and that he's the best thing that ever happened to her. It's like, YA RIGHT, you just feel bad cause everyone guilted and shamed you and Khloe called you a "fame whore!"
-Eager "Call me Mrs. Jenner (Brody that is..)" Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Not much to say except that I agree with you 100 percent!! Shame on Kris and...Khloe has her mom pegged.
-Hot Mama
It's no secret that I am addicted to "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." And I do in fact, keep up with the crazy clan. In the most recent episode Kris is debating changing her name from Jenner back to Kardashian. Which naturally made me extremely upset, as I am a huge Bruce fan. And I think he puts up with so much from the women in that family, the ringleader of which is Kris. So she says that she thinks she should change it back because Kardashian has become a "brand." And as she says, "People already think I'm a Kardashian and call me Mrs. Kardashian."
I think the best part was the reaction from all of the girls when Kris told them. Both the Kardashian and Jenner girls couldn't believe the audacity of Kris. Kendall even went so far as to say, "How could you disrespect my Dad like that?" Which is so true! Who do you think you are Kris?! You are so lucky to have a wonderful and devoted husband who has put up with you and your shennanigans for 20 plus years. Not to mention that he RAISED the Kardashian children as his own! Such a sign of disrespect. And really is it worth the attention / fame / whatever she thought she would get out of this to emasculate her husband and on top of that really hurt his feelings? He's the one who goes to sleep with you every night, not the press, not the public, but him. I just couldn't even believe it. Then at the end of the episode she makes a big announcement at a family dinner that she feels bad about considering changing it to Kardashian and that she loves Bruce and that he's the best thing that ever happened to her. It's like, YA RIGHT, you just feel bad cause everyone guilted and shamed you and Khloe called you a "fame whore!"
-Eager "Call me Mrs. Jenner (Brody that is..)" Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Not much to say except that I agree with you 100 percent!! Shame on Kris and...Khloe has her mom pegged.
-Hot Mama
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Money Matters...
Hot Mama,
Last night I was chatting with my best friend on line and out of the blue, he posed a question to me that really got me thinking. How much does money matter? I mean, I have less than no experience in this regard, so I have to defer to you on this one. And I know what I think, but I am just curious as to how you see it! I know you live a lot like I do, and I wonder with your ex-husband how things were for the two of you. Below is a piece of our conversation...
HIM: When you get married, would you want a joint bank account?
ME: haha depends, would I marry someone with more money than me, or less money than me?
HIM: um...less, but interesting side note
ME: So here is what I think, #1 I know the type of person that I am and how I am with my money. And it would be necessary for me to find a partner that feels the same way about money that I do. And #2 I like living well and enjoying my life. I am not a person who pinches pennies or saves every dime, and it would be hard for me to be with someone like that. I also couldn't justify everything that I buy, it would be too exhausting for me. That being said, I definitely wouldn't mind sharing my money. I would consider myself a very generous person, and I know that you can't take it with you, and I like sharing what I have. If my husband thought I was too frivilous spending money on clothes or what have you, then I would understand if he wanted to keep money separate. But to me, it's all about combining lives, and I would think that would be part of it... BUT I would also like a separate account on my own, because if I buy my hubby a gift, I'd want it to be from money I earned, not his or our joint account, because it's just not as special that way.
Did you and the ex-hubby have a joint account? Did you have an issue combining funds? And then I think now that you've been on your own for a few years and dealing with your own finances and financial issues, what would you do if you got married again? Is there a security in combining assets or a security in NOT combining assets? And I made a joke to him about depending on whether or not my man made less money to me, but I wonder if that would ever be a part of it. For someone my age I make a pretty decent salary, and the likelihood of me being with a man who makes less than I do, does in fact exist. I want to be idealistic and think that I could be in a great marriage where money wasn't a big issue, but I am not naive, and I know that is NEVER the case! And then, when kids come in to the picture, things just get even that more complicated!
-EagerBeaver
Eager Beaver,
Interesting that you bring up this topic as I have a friend who is going through a divorce right now and we were just discussing the issue of joint and his and her accounts. The couple operate as my ex and I did, we had a joint and separate accounts. Into the joint we put money for all necessary things such as food, rent, gas, water, phone, utilities, medical, etc. and we each had our own accounts for discretionary spending. In my ex-husband's and my case, we put it in as a percentage of our incomes because he made more than I did by a third to half. So it wouldn't really be equitable for me to have to put in half of the mortgage when I made so much less than him. In my friend's case, he is the bread winner and puts money into the joint account for all their mutual expenses plus some and now it's a sticky situation because it wasn't ever really "joint" as it was all of his money. Interestingly, experts agree with how my ex and I handled it and we didn't have a lot of signposts back in the day, it's just what made sense. Now, that's not to say that this prevented us from having money issues because it didn't. Especially when it came to saving and spending, do we "need" that muscle car (a classic 442 convertible Oldsmobile in tomato red) or a trip to Europe? And, you and I are alike, even back then I hated being told how to spend my money. In retrospect though, since money is one of the top two issues that dissolve marriages, I think that somehow swallowing your financial need for autonomy for the good of the union is paramount. I believe that you can the joint and separate but you need to have monthly or quarterly meetings on where you're at financially. It feels like being taken to task BUT if you're in it together for the long, long, long haul then you should plan for your future together. There was a couple we knew that did this and the wife would make fun of her husband for their "meetings", he had charts and everything, an engineer, but she sat down with him and did it. And they're still married! Even though they stopped having sex years and years ago because he's not sexually attracted to her anymore! And I'm not. So, the moral of this story is you can have it "your" way but be sure to have it "our" way too!
-Hot Mama
Last night I was chatting with my best friend on line and out of the blue, he posed a question to me that really got me thinking. How much does money matter? I mean, I have less than no experience in this regard, so I have to defer to you on this one. And I know what I think, but I am just curious as to how you see it! I know you live a lot like I do, and I wonder with your ex-husband how things were for the two of you. Below is a piece of our conversation...
HIM: When you get married, would you want a joint bank account?
ME: haha depends, would I marry someone with more money than me, or less money than me?
HIM: um...less, but interesting side note
ME: So here is what I think, #1 I know the type of person that I am and how I am with my money. And it would be necessary for me to find a partner that feels the same way about money that I do. And #2 I like living well and enjoying my life. I am not a person who pinches pennies or saves every dime, and it would be hard for me to be with someone like that. I also couldn't justify everything that I buy, it would be too exhausting for me. That being said, I definitely wouldn't mind sharing my money. I would consider myself a very generous person, and I know that you can't take it with you, and I like sharing what I have. If my husband thought I was too frivilous spending money on clothes or what have you, then I would understand if he wanted to keep money separate. But to me, it's all about combining lives, and I would think that would be part of it... BUT I would also like a separate account on my own, because if I buy my hubby a gift, I'd want it to be from money I earned, not his or our joint account, because it's just not as special that way.
Did you and the ex-hubby have a joint account? Did you have an issue combining funds? And then I think now that you've been on your own for a few years and dealing with your own finances and financial issues, what would you do if you got married again? Is there a security in combining assets or a security in NOT combining assets? And I made a joke to him about depending on whether or not my man made less money to me, but I wonder if that would ever be a part of it. For someone my age I make a pretty decent salary, and the likelihood of me being with a man who makes less than I do, does in fact exist. I want to be idealistic and think that I could be in a great marriage where money wasn't a big issue, but I am not naive, and I know that is NEVER the case! And then, when kids come in to the picture, things just get even that more complicated!
-EagerBeaver
Eager Beaver,
Interesting that you bring up this topic as I have a friend who is going through a divorce right now and we were just discussing the issue of joint and his and her accounts. The couple operate as my ex and I did, we had a joint and separate accounts. Into the joint we put money for all necessary things such as food, rent, gas, water, phone, utilities, medical, etc. and we each had our own accounts for discretionary spending. In my ex-husband's and my case, we put it in as a percentage of our incomes because he made more than I did by a third to half. So it wouldn't really be equitable for me to have to put in half of the mortgage when I made so much less than him. In my friend's case, he is the bread winner and puts money into the joint account for all their mutual expenses plus some and now it's a sticky situation because it wasn't ever really "joint" as it was all of his money. Interestingly, experts agree with how my ex and I handled it and we didn't have a lot of signposts back in the day, it's just what made sense. Now, that's not to say that this prevented us from having money issues because it didn't. Especially when it came to saving and spending, do we "need" that muscle car (a classic 442 convertible Oldsmobile in tomato red) or a trip to Europe? And, you and I are alike, even back then I hated being told how to spend my money. In retrospect though, since money is one of the top two issues that dissolve marriages, I think that somehow swallowing your financial need for autonomy for the good of the union is paramount. I believe that you can the joint and separate but you need to have monthly or quarterly meetings on where you're at financially. It feels like being taken to task BUT if you're in it together for the long, long, long haul then you should plan for your future together. There was a couple we knew that did this and the wife would make fun of her husband for their "meetings", he had charts and everything, an engineer, but she sat down with him and did it. And they're still married! Even though they stopped having sex years and years ago because he's not sexually attracted to her anymore! And I'm not. So, the moral of this story is you can have it "your" way but be sure to have it "our" way too!
-Hot Mama
Saturday, May 28, 2011
"The Real Housewives..." Is this Reality?!
Hot Mama,
I know I can say this to you without fear of judgement or a serious eyeroll, but I do spend a seious amount of time glued to my television watching, "The Real Housewives of Orange County." And I have to say that recently I've discovered I'm not the only one. It seems as if the "Real Housewives" craze has gotten to almost everyone I know! They have "real" housewives from everywhere these days: New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, OC, Beverly Hills, etc. Even just the slightest mention of Housewives gets women talking. But why?! Why are we so obsessed with watching these women whose supposed real lives are a far cry from anyone that I know.
They consider 'working' as having a clothing line or designing handbags or make-up. And are continually throwing huge lavish parties and vacations where they invite their 'friends,' who are actually more like frenemies in most cases. They spend 95% of the time bashing the women that they claim to be BFF's with behind their backs. They all have something negative to say about each other, or each others relationships, or jobs (or lack there of). And I wonder if I was poked and proded and prompted enough by Producers, if I would be able to say such negative and hurtful things about someone else, someone who is supposedly my friend, behind her back. I don't think that I could, and why would I chose to continue to spend time with someone if I didn't have anything good to say about them? And on top of that, trying to keep track of who is friends at any given point in time can be overwhelming and exhausting. One minute they hate each other, and the next minute, they're double dating and bashing someone else's husband. 
These women have insane amounts of disposable income, and spend a vast majority of their time devoted to their looks and upkeep. They don't talk about anything useful or productive, and most of the time they are downright mean. So why do I like it? And not just me, but women across America... Why do we ALL like it? How have they made SIX seasons of the same show? Nothing has changed, it's just the same old stuff, different day. It's in no way, shape or form a reflection of the real life of a woman. Having a nanny, and a cook, and a party planner, and a personal assistant... Yeah, I don't have ANY of those things. But somehow, I keep on watching. And not gonna lie, I love it! What gives... why do we spend countless hours watching this nonsense??
-Eager "Real Housewive of the REAL World" Beaver
Eager Beaver,
I admit that I too watch those shows occasionally and I HATE them! They just totally contribute to the idea that women are nothing more than grownup "mean girls!" Wow, I always say most men don't ever "grow up" they just "grow old" but these shows say exactly the same thing about women! It's mortifying. Who ARE these women? How did they all get such a sense of entitlement? I mean, seriously, their poop stinks just like anyone else's, worse probably. And an even bigger question for me is who are these MEN that marry them? What sane man finds these highly kept women attractive in any way? They do NOTHING! They don't even raise their own kids! And they're so botoxed and blown out who would want to sleep with them? So, what are they good for? Running around backstabbing their "friends" and spending the man's money?
I think people watch because it's like watching the "Stepford Wives" in a car crash. I guess it's this generation's "reality" version of "Dallas." I end up having to turn it off because I can't handle their mean-spirited vapidness. It turns my stomach. I do wonder when they watch themselves back if they have even the slightest shred of decency to be a little embarrassed by their behavior? Or were they all raised by wolves? I'm guessing it's the latter.
-Hot Mama
I know I can say this to you without fear of judgement or a serious eyeroll, but I do spend a seious amount of time glued to my television watching, "The Real Housewives of Orange County." And I have to say that recently I've discovered I'm not the only one. It seems as if the "Real Housewives" craze has gotten to almost everyone I know! They have "real" housewives from everywhere these days: New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, OC, Beverly Hills, etc. Even just the slightest mention of Housewives gets women talking. But why?! Why are we so obsessed with watching these women whose supposed real lives are a far cry from anyone that I know.
They consider 'working' as having a clothing line or designing handbags or make-up. And are continually throwing huge lavish parties and vacations where they invite their 'friends,' who are actually more like frenemies in most cases. They spend 95% of the time bashing the women that they claim to be BFF's with behind their backs. They all have something negative to say about each other, or each others relationships, or jobs (or lack there of). And I wonder if I was poked and proded and prompted enough by Producers, if I would be able to say such negative and hurtful things about someone else, someone who is supposedly my friend, behind her back. I don't think that I could, and why would I chose to continue to spend time with someone if I didn't have anything good to say about them? And on top of that, trying to keep track of who is friends at any given point in time can be overwhelming and exhausting. One minute they hate each other, and the next minute, they're double dating and bashing someone else's husband. 
These women have insane amounts of disposable income, and spend a vast majority of their time devoted to their looks and upkeep. They don't talk about anything useful or productive, and most of the time they are downright mean. So why do I like it? And not just me, but women across America... Why do we ALL like it? How have they made SIX seasons of the same show? Nothing has changed, it's just the same old stuff, different day. It's in no way, shape or form a reflection of the real life of a woman. Having a nanny, and a cook, and a party planner, and a personal assistant... Yeah, I don't have ANY of those things. But somehow, I keep on watching. And not gonna lie, I love it! What gives... why do we spend countless hours watching this nonsense??-Eager "Real Housewive of the REAL World" Beaver
Eager Beaver,
I admit that I too watch those shows occasionally and I HATE them! They just totally contribute to the idea that women are nothing more than grownup "mean girls!" Wow, I always say most men don't ever "grow up" they just "grow old" but these shows say exactly the same thing about women! It's mortifying. Who ARE these women? How did they all get such a sense of entitlement? I mean, seriously, their poop stinks just like anyone else's, worse probably. And an even bigger question for me is who are these MEN that marry them? What sane man finds these highly kept women attractive in any way? They do NOTHING! They don't even raise their own kids! And they're so botoxed and blown out who would want to sleep with them? So, what are they good for? Running around backstabbing their "friends" and spending the man's money?
I think people watch because it's like watching the "Stepford Wives" in a car crash. I guess it's this generation's "reality" version of "Dallas." I end up having to turn it off because I can't handle their mean-spirited vapidness. It turns my stomach. I do wonder when they watch themselves back if they have even the slightest shred of decency to be a little embarrassed by their behavior? Or were they all raised by wolves? I'm guessing it's the latter.-Hot Mama
Monday, May 9, 2011
Maria Shoulda Terminated this Relationship from the Beginning...
Eager Beaver,
What is wrong with women? How can they listen to advice from people, ignore it and their own internal warning system to end up with guys like Arnold Schwarznegger? Geez, everybody on the PLANET knew that Arnold was a horndog when they started dating. His reputation reaches all the way back to his first days in Hollywood and most likely back to his teenage years.
I personally know TWO women who have been sexually harassed by Arnold. In both situations he physically man-handled them completely uninvited not to mention unwanted!!! I'm one person. His reputation in the film industry is hugely filthy. Why did Maria Shriver ignore what was surely everyone's (Oprah, Mary Hart) advice to stay away from this man? She claims that just because her family's men have a sordid sexual history doesn't mean that she just "accepts" that behavior in men. And so you were thinking what exactly when you started dating one of the worst offenders in Hollywood? It just completely boggles my mind. I don't think anyone out here in the real world is shocked by Arnold's love child with the maid but we're more shocked by the fact that Maria seems shocked. Really? Really?
-Hot Mama
Okay Hot Mama,
Can I just say first off that I cannot believe that you know TWO people who he has sexually harassed. On top of that I am SO glad that you share my opinions about him. I literally thought that it was just me. I find him so completely unattractive, like damn near the point of repulsive. And it's like seriously?! A gorgeous, amazing, fabulous, brilliant woman like Maria was bamboozled by Arnold. And on top of ALL of that she managed to stay with him for years and years and years. And stand by him during everything.
I'm certainly not shocked by the love child scandal, and honestly I hardly flinched when I heard the story break. Apparently Maria had known about it for quite a few months before, like even before the holidays! And on top of the that, being the gracious woman that she is, she waited to make the announcement. AND she supposedly let the maid stay with them until after the holidays, because she didn't want to make it rough on her family. Arnold never deserved a woman like Maria, and hopefully she can get out of there fast, and start a new life over with her children. And now that he's no longer in office, I hope to NEVER hear about that scoundrel again!
-REPULSED EagerBeaver
What is wrong with women? How can they listen to advice from people, ignore it and their own internal warning system to end up with guys like Arnold Schwarznegger? Geez, everybody on the PLANET knew that Arnold was a horndog when they started dating. His reputation reaches all the way back to his first days in Hollywood and most likely back to his teenage years.
I personally know TWO women who have been sexually harassed by Arnold. In both situations he physically man-handled them completely uninvited not to mention unwanted!!! I'm one person. His reputation in the film industry is hugely filthy. Why did Maria Shriver ignore what was surely everyone's (Oprah, Mary Hart) advice to stay away from this man? She claims that just because her family's men have a sordid sexual history doesn't mean that she just "accepts" that behavior in men. And so you were thinking what exactly when you started dating one of the worst offenders in Hollywood? It just completely boggles my mind. I don't think anyone out here in the real world is shocked by Arnold's love child with the maid but we're more shocked by the fact that Maria seems shocked. Really? Really?-Hot Mama
Okay Hot Mama,
Can I just say first off that I cannot believe that you know TWO people who he has sexually harassed. On top of that I am SO glad that you share my opinions about him. I literally thought that it was just me. I find him so completely unattractive, like damn near the point of repulsive. And it's like seriously?! A gorgeous, amazing, fabulous, brilliant woman like Maria was bamboozled by Arnold. And on top of ALL of that she managed to stay with him for years and years and years. And stand by him during everything.
I'm certainly not shocked by the love child scandal, and honestly I hardly flinched when I heard the story break. Apparently Maria had known about it for quite a few months before, like even before the holidays! And on top of the that, being the gracious woman that she is, she waited to make the announcement. AND she supposedly let the maid stay with them until after the holidays, because she didn't want to make it rough on her family. Arnold never deserved a woman like Maria, and hopefully she can get out of there fast, and start a new life over with her children. And now that he's no longer in office, I hope to NEVER hear about that scoundrel again!-REPULSED EagerBeaver
Friday, February 4, 2011
Mancations: Good or Bad for Your Relationship?
Eager Beaver,
I just came back from a week in Vail with the girls, and while all of us were single, all the guys we encountered were married! There were lots of groups of 5-7 married guys on mancations.
Every single one that I observed was looking to get laid. And that's not just my opinion, it's my girlfriends' opinion as well. I went two years ago and it was the same story. And the occasional single guy was just a dog you wouldn't want anyway. Even the most benign looking man seemed to be influenced by the pack mentality. It freaked all of us out. What do their wives think they're doing in Vail? Skiing? Well, yes probably but also probably with women they'd met in the bar the night before. We met one group of guys who had every intention of going skiing when they arrived in town four days ago but never did because they were way too hung over the next day, every day, to make it out of the condo! In another group, we witnessed the men's wedding rings disappearing as the week wore on! Meaning, when we met them, they had them on but by the end of the week they had taken them off. 
One of them claimed it was because the ring might hurt his finger should he take a bad fall. OMG. Seriously?! Another group decided to plan a mancation houseboating without their wives and tell them they were going fishing. All the while recalling the last time they had done that, 10-15 years ago, they had naked chicks running around the houseboat the whole weekend. Ladies, as much as we know our guys need some guy time, anytime they're going with a group of buddies to somewhere other than an actual forest with tents and guns on their backs, it's a sign they're looking for trouble. As in, trouble for you because they are looking to get laid. You can deny, deny, deny all you want that YOUR husband never would and maybe he wouldn't intentionally but once they are in a town with hotels and other women trouble will come a-knockin'. I don't care if they say they're going golfing, fishing, biking, hiking, wind-surfing, skiing, water skiing, etc. if where they're going there are going to be women and bars (from the biggest to the tiniest town) there is going to be trouble. Not every man will get laid for sure and maybe none of them will on any given trip but what freaked us out was that ALL of them wanted to and it's just a matter of time (years), and the odds, that eventually all of them will.
-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
This makes me so freaking DEPRESSED. I thought that this was something that I could expect from guys who are my age, not men in their 30s, 40s, and upwards from there. I thought that the whole "mancation" thinking was just for guys my age who were going to Cabo on springbreak and messing around before coming back to their girlfriends. Thinking that men who are married and in committed relationships are still looking to do the same thing is completely sickening. It makes me wonder if I ever even WANT to get married. On the same token... maybe men are getting away with this because their wives are turning a blind eye. A lot of my friends have taken back boyfriends who have strayed (on vacations or just in the same town!) Maybe if we stopped tolerating this behavior, it wouldn't be so commonplace. I want to be with someone who I can trust to take a trip with his buddies and still know that he is being faithful to me. And I would expect the same thing from my partner... that I could go on a trip with the girls and he wouldn't be worried about me meeting and hooking up with someone else the whole time. It just makes me wonder, if we can't trust our boyfriends or our husbands, then WHO can we trust?!?
-Distraught Eager Beaver
I just came back from a week in Vail with the girls, and while all of us were single, all the guys we encountered were married! There were lots of groups of 5-7 married guys on mancations.
Every single one that I observed was looking to get laid. And that's not just my opinion, it's my girlfriends' opinion as well. I went two years ago and it was the same story. And the occasional single guy was just a dog you wouldn't want anyway. Even the most benign looking man seemed to be influenced by the pack mentality. It freaked all of us out. What do their wives think they're doing in Vail? Skiing? Well, yes probably but also probably with women they'd met in the bar the night before. We met one group of guys who had every intention of going skiing when they arrived in town four days ago but never did because they were way too hung over the next day, every day, to make it out of the condo! In another group, we witnessed the men's wedding rings disappearing as the week wore on! Meaning, when we met them, they had them on but by the end of the week they had taken them off. 
One of them claimed it was because the ring might hurt his finger should he take a bad fall. OMG. Seriously?! Another group decided to plan a mancation houseboating without their wives and tell them they were going fishing. All the while recalling the last time they had done that, 10-15 years ago, they had naked chicks running around the houseboat the whole weekend. Ladies, as much as we know our guys need some guy time, anytime they're going with a group of buddies to somewhere other than an actual forest with tents and guns on their backs, it's a sign they're looking for trouble. As in, trouble for you because they are looking to get laid. You can deny, deny, deny all you want that YOUR husband never would and maybe he wouldn't intentionally but once they are in a town with hotels and other women trouble will come a-knockin'. I don't care if they say they're going golfing, fishing, biking, hiking, wind-surfing, skiing, water skiing, etc. if where they're going there are going to be women and bars (from the biggest to the tiniest town) there is going to be trouble. Not every man will get laid for sure and maybe none of them will on any given trip but what freaked us out was that ALL of them wanted to and it's just a matter of time (years), and the odds, that eventually all of them will.-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
This makes me so freaking DEPRESSED. I thought that this was something that I could expect from guys who are my age, not men in their 30s, 40s, and upwards from there. I thought that the whole "mancation" thinking was just for guys my age who were going to Cabo on springbreak and messing around before coming back to their girlfriends. Thinking that men who are married and in committed relationships are still looking to do the same thing is completely sickening. It makes me wonder if I ever even WANT to get married. On the same token... maybe men are getting away with this because their wives are turning a blind eye. A lot of my friends have taken back boyfriends who have strayed (on vacations or just in the same town!) Maybe if we stopped tolerating this behavior, it wouldn't be so commonplace. I want to be with someone who I can trust to take a trip with his buddies and still know that he is being faithful to me. And I would expect the same thing from my partner... that I could go on a trip with the girls and he wouldn't be worried about me meeting and hooking up with someone else the whole time. It just makes me wonder, if we can't trust our boyfriends or our husbands, then WHO can we trust?!?
-Distraught Eager Beaver
Monday, November 8, 2010
Mom Cave... Is this for real?
Eager Beaver,
OMG. Today on the TV show I work on we discussed the trend towards women, specifically mothers, having their own special "space" in the home. The "space" it was suggested could be a converted closet or the corner of a room or attic. What? WHAT? Men get entire dens, offices, basements, garages, whatever. They get a whole room to do in what they like. Apparently, the thinking is that a "corner" is all we need because the rest of the house is "ours."
Really? Ours to do what in? Cook, clean, dishes, laundry,sweep, dust, vacuum, windows, toilets, change sheets? Really? Where is Mama's sanctuary exactly? The bathtub? No, because the second you settle into your soothing bubbles someone is at the door shouting that they need something, like a run to Michael's for poster board for a science project that's due the next day! Moms not only deserve, but need, a room of their own with a door that shuts and when that door is shut it means NO interruptions unless someone's hurt or the house is on fire and it better be a big fire. Women need a place to decompress and disconnect from all the needs of their loved ones just as much as men do but women rarely take the time to just space out and watch a game. No, when we sit down to watch our favorite show, like Snapped, it's with a pile of laundry or thank you cards or bills or sewing repairs, etc. It's rarely to just kick back, drink a beer and gorge on Cool Ranch Doritos. Ladies we are our own worst enemy. Your family can be trained to leave you alone for 30 - 60 minutes...really, they can! You just have to refuse to give into the need (guilt) to answer everyone's questions or solve their problems. They'll find their gym bag, the homework will still be there, they can clean up the cat vomit, honestly, while you recharge in your sanctuary! Now take that unused guest room, guests can sleep on the sofa like they did back in the day, and transform it into a place that will fulfill YOU! To your cave!
-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
You know the first thing I thought when I read this... TYPICAL! Isn't it just so typical that they are telling a woman that she needs to take an unused closet or a CORNER OF A ROOM and make a special space for herself. I will have to say that it is one thing about where I am in my life that is so wonderful. Granted, there are not a TON of great things about being single... BUT, having no man and no children means that there is a lot of space to myself. I don't have to take just a corner of a room, I can have an ENTIRE room. I can decorate it the way that I want, and keep it clean like I want, and do whatever I want, because it is all mine. It's sad that as women get into serious relationships and get married and have babies, they slowly start to lose themselves. Shouldn't we all be focusing on taking care of ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally? If we have time (and space) for ourselves, then we are able to take better care of the rest of the people in our lives. We can be more relaxed and focused, and can put our energy into the things and people that really matter. Why don't we start giving men an attic or a small unused corner and see how they like it!
-Eager Beaver
PS: Just for fun I thought I would attach a couple of pictures for what I found for a "Mom Cave" versus a "Man Cave." You decide which looks more appealing...
MAN CAVE:
MOM CAVE:
OMG. Today on the TV show I work on we discussed the trend towards women, specifically mothers, having their own special "space" in the home. The "space" it was suggested could be a converted closet or the corner of a room or attic. What? WHAT? Men get entire dens, offices, basements, garages, whatever. They get a whole room to do in what they like. Apparently, the thinking is that a "corner" is all we need because the rest of the house is "ours."
Really? Ours to do what in? Cook, clean, dishes, laundry,sweep, dust, vacuum, windows, toilets, change sheets? Really? Where is Mama's sanctuary exactly? The bathtub? No, because the second you settle into your soothing bubbles someone is at the door shouting that they need something, like a run to Michael's for poster board for a science project that's due the next day! Moms not only deserve, but need, a room of their own with a door that shuts and when that door is shut it means NO interruptions unless someone's hurt or the house is on fire and it better be a big fire. Women need a place to decompress and disconnect from all the needs of their loved ones just as much as men do but women rarely take the time to just space out and watch a game. No, when we sit down to watch our favorite show, like Snapped, it's with a pile of laundry or thank you cards or bills or sewing repairs, etc. It's rarely to just kick back, drink a beer and gorge on Cool Ranch Doritos. Ladies we are our own worst enemy. Your family can be trained to leave you alone for 30 - 60 minutes...really, they can! You just have to refuse to give into the need (guilt) to answer everyone's questions or solve their problems. They'll find their gym bag, the homework will still be there, they can clean up the cat vomit, honestly, while you recharge in your sanctuary! Now take that unused guest room, guests can sleep on the sofa like they did back in the day, and transform it into a place that will fulfill YOU! To your cave!
-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
You know the first thing I thought when I read this... TYPICAL! Isn't it just so typical that they are telling a woman that she needs to take an unused closet or a CORNER OF A ROOM and make a special space for herself. I will have to say that it is one thing about where I am in my life that is so wonderful. Granted, there are not a TON of great things about being single... BUT, having no man and no children means that there is a lot of space to myself. I don't have to take just a corner of a room, I can have an ENTIRE room. I can decorate it the way that I want, and keep it clean like I want, and do whatever I want, because it is all mine. It's sad that as women get into serious relationships and get married and have babies, they slowly start to lose themselves. Shouldn't we all be focusing on taking care of ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally? If we have time (and space) for ourselves, then we are able to take better care of the rest of the people in our lives. We can be more relaxed and focused, and can put our energy into the things and people that really matter. Why don't we start giving men an attic or a small unused corner and see how they like it!
-Eager Beaver
PS: Just for fun I thought I would attach a couple of pictures for what I found for a "Mom Cave" versus a "Man Cave." You decide which looks more appealing...
MAN CAVE:
MOM CAVE:
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Why Women (Courtney) Get Tired of Mothering Men (David)!
Hot Mama,
In the wake of all of the celebrity break-ups, I am not surprised that another one bites the dust... First, we had Tiger Woods and Elin (which frankly, Elin is WAY better off without him). Then we had Jesse James and Sandra Bullock... Really Sandra, did you actually think that Jesse James was going to stay faithful. Thank goodness they were both strong enough women to divorce Jesse and Tiger's loser asses and move on.
They both seem to be in a much better place, now that they have moved on from their lying and cheating men. But now we have another high profile couple headed for divorce. I'm not gonna lie, I never really understood the whole David Arquette and Courtney Cox thing. She's absolutely gorgeous and he's only slightly attractive at best. I always figured that they must have bonded over their common sense of humor and that they must have been best friends.
Well, now after 11 years they are breaking up. Fine, get a divorce, people do it all the time. But in this whole situation David Arquette has made me absolutely sick, and I feel like he may be worse than Tiger and Jesse. Is it really necessary to go around and do interviews and tell people that it had been over four months since the two of you have had sex? Is it also necessary to do interviews and say that you were sleeping with other people?? Maybe one or two or more times! Seriously David, are you for real right now?! You have a child with this woman who was your wife for 11 years, and you think it's appropriate to discuss your sex-life in national interviews. Is your career really that shitty? Do people think nothing of their children?? Their daughter is in elementary school, and will have to live with the fact that this is all over the news and her friends and schoolmates will hear about it. I just don't even understand people anymore. Men are so self involved, it makes me sick. What is this world coming to?!
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
I love Courtney, but knew from the beginning this marriage wouldn't work because Courtney is a co-dependent who loves projects. One of her passions is buying homes and renovating them and she's no different when it comes to men. Her first serious celebrity boyfriend was Michael Keaton, an alcoholic, and she tried to keep that relationship together for five years. So, it really was no surprise to me that she ended up with another man with addiction problems except for the fact that it was David Arquette, at least Michael Keaton has some class. David Arquette still acts like he's in high school auditioning for the role of class clown; Stop, you got it already!
David said that Courtney said, "She was tired of being my mother." Amen. Wow. So many women are married to men that they have to mother. It is unbelievable! She still needs to mother him and tell him what's appropriate to talk about in public and what's not! F' me, how old is he? How do you NOT know you shouldn't talk about your private sex life in public? ESPECIALLY when you have a child in school! WTF? Shut up already! And he said that Courtney and he are still best friends and put their daughter's interests first. Really, this is how you treat your best friend? It's embarrassing enough for Courtney but poor Coco. What did she do to deserve having her parents dirty laundry aired in public? And how is Courtney supposed to answer her six year olds questions about it? OMG. This is exactly what I rant about when it comes to people getting divorced. Do NOTHING to, in any way shape or form, put your children in the middle of your crap. It is your and your spouse's crap. People are stupefying petty, childlike and self-centered when it comes to their hurt. They lash out, because it's all about them, without stepping back and thinking to themselves how will this affect my children? If I call their mother a bitch, how will that hurt them? If I call their father a lazy-assed loser, how will that affect them? If I reveal that their mother and I haven't had sex in four months and I've begged her to stay, how will that affect them? Grow up people! PLEASE for the sake of your children grow up and shut up!
-Infuriated Hot Mama
In the wake of all of the celebrity break-ups, I am not surprised that another one bites the dust... First, we had Tiger Woods and Elin (which frankly, Elin is WAY better off without him). Then we had Jesse James and Sandra Bullock... Really Sandra, did you actually think that Jesse James was going to stay faithful. Thank goodness they were both strong enough women to divorce Jesse and Tiger's loser asses and move on.
They both seem to be in a much better place, now that they have moved on from their lying and cheating men. But now we have another high profile couple headed for divorce. I'm not gonna lie, I never really understood the whole David Arquette and Courtney Cox thing. She's absolutely gorgeous and he's only slightly attractive at best. I always figured that they must have bonded over their common sense of humor and that they must have been best friends. 
Well, now after 11 years they are breaking up. Fine, get a divorce, people do it all the time. But in this whole situation David Arquette has made me absolutely sick, and I feel like he may be worse than Tiger and Jesse. Is it really necessary to go around and do interviews and tell people that it had been over four months since the two of you have had sex? Is it also necessary to do interviews and say that you were sleeping with other people?? Maybe one or two or more times! Seriously David, are you for real right now?! You have a child with this woman who was your wife for 11 years, and you think it's appropriate to discuss your sex-life in national interviews. Is your career really that shitty? Do people think nothing of their children?? Their daughter is in elementary school, and will have to live with the fact that this is all over the news and her friends and schoolmates will hear about it. I just don't even understand people anymore. Men are so self involved, it makes me sick. What is this world coming to?!
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
I love Courtney, but knew from the beginning this marriage wouldn't work because Courtney is a co-dependent who loves projects. One of her passions is buying homes and renovating them and she's no different when it comes to men. Her first serious celebrity boyfriend was Michael Keaton, an alcoholic, and she tried to keep that relationship together for five years. So, it really was no surprise to me that she ended up with another man with addiction problems except for the fact that it was David Arquette, at least Michael Keaton has some class. David Arquette still acts like he's in high school auditioning for the role of class clown; Stop, you got it already!
David said that Courtney said, "She was tired of being my mother." Amen. Wow. So many women are married to men that they have to mother. It is unbelievable! She still needs to mother him and tell him what's appropriate to talk about in public and what's not! F' me, how old is he? How do you NOT know you shouldn't talk about your private sex life in public? ESPECIALLY when you have a child in school! WTF? Shut up already! And he said that Courtney and he are still best friends and put their daughter's interests first. Really, this is how you treat your best friend? It's embarrassing enough for Courtney but poor Coco. What did she do to deserve having her parents dirty laundry aired in public? And how is Courtney supposed to answer her six year olds questions about it? OMG. This is exactly what I rant about when it comes to people getting divorced. Do NOTHING to, in any way shape or form, put your children in the middle of your crap. It is your and your spouse's crap. People are stupefying petty, childlike and self-centered when it comes to their hurt. They lash out, because it's all about them, without stepping back and thinking to themselves how will this affect my children? If I call their mother a bitch, how will that hurt them? If I call their father a lazy-assed loser, how will that affect them? If I reveal that their mother and I haven't had sex in four months and I've begged her to stay, how will that affect them? Grow up people! PLEASE for the sake of your children grow up and shut up!
-Infuriated Hot Mama
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Is Sex ALL Guys Ever Think About?
Hot Mama Help Me!
Although there is so much evidence out there to the contrary, I still like to believe the best in people (even men), but I am starting to wonder if I have been misguided. I want to think that they are capable of being loving, intelligent, thoughtful, and caring partners... but to be honest, I think that LITERALLY ALL THEY THINK ABOUT IS SEX! The men at work, guys on the street, even guys that I thought were just my friends. (I know, I know... we have had this conversation a million times, guys can't be just friends with girls...) I don't know how women have done it for centuries. Everytime I am rewarded at work, or get out of a speeding ticket (or two), I never know if it is because of my winning personality or strictly based on my looks, and men's inability to keep it in their pants. I am starting to get frustrated and think that maybe it isn't possible for men to think about anything else. Help me Hot Mama. PLEASE tell me that I am wrong!
-Angry Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Umm, yeah, sex is pretty much what most guys think about all the time whether they're working, grocery shopping, driving, minding the kids, changing their socks, mowing the lawn, golfing, eating pizza, sucking their thumb, etc., etc. It's appalling I know and for proof that Hot Mama isn't just talking out of her ass I'd like to refer you to this article in Elle...
http://www.elle.com/Life-Love/Sex-Relationships/They-Like-It-Like-That-Why-Every-Woman-is-Desirable
But before you despair of ever finding a worthy man (really worthy of a woman and all her inherent goodness) let me point out what AMAZING will power a committed man must have! I mean they're almost literally hampered by their brains and it's need to sexually assess every woman who crosses it's path. It's not that difficult for us because most of us don't look at a man and wonder what his penis looks like! Eww. And just because they may look at everything that comes into their line of sight doesn't mean they actually want it. Besides sex they also have a need for a loving relationship and family. So, the fact that men still propose and still get married, when it seems totally against their biological imperative, is really and truly impressive. Kudos to all the faithful guys out there, you have strength beyond imagination and truly are our heroes.
-Hot Mama
Although there is so much evidence out there to the contrary, I still like to believe the best in people (even men), but I am starting to wonder if I have been misguided. I want to think that they are capable of being loving, intelligent, thoughtful, and caring partners... but to be honest, I think that LITERALLY ALL THEY THINK ABOUT IS SEX! The men at work, guys on the street, even guys that I thought were just my friends. (I know, I know... we have had this conversation a million times, guys can't be just friends with girls...) I don't know how women have done it for centuries. Everytime I am rewarded at work, or get out of a speeding ticket (or two), I never know if it is because of my winning personality or strictly based on my looks, and men's inability to keep it in their pants. I am starting to get frustrated and think that maybe it isn't possible for men to think about anything else. Help me Hot Mama. PLEASE tell me that I am wrong!
-Angry Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Umm, yeah, sex is pretty much what most guys think about all the time whether they're working, grocery shopping, driving, minding the kids, changing their socks, mowing the lawn, golfing, eating pizza, sucking their thumb, etc., etc. It's appalling I know and for proof that Hot Mama isn't just talking out of her ass I'd like to refer you to this article in Elle...
http://www.elle.com/Life-Love/Sex-Relationships/They-Like-It-Like-That-Why-Every-Woman-is-Desirable
But before you despair of ever finding a worthy man (really worthy of a woman and all her inherent goodness) let me point out what AMAZING will power a committed man must have! I mean they're almost literally hampered by their brains and it's need to sexually assess every woman who crosses it's path. It's not that difficult for us because most of us don't look at a man and wonder what his penis looks like! Eww. And just because they may look at everything that comes into their line of sight doesn't mean they actually want it. Besides sex they also have a need for a loving relationship and family. So, the fact that men still propose and still get married, when it seems totally against their biological imperative, is really and truly impressive. Kudos to all the faithful guys out there, you have strength beyond imagination and truly are our heroes.
-Hot Mama
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