I have a question for you... how soon is too soon? And no, I don't mean how soon is too soon to sleep with a guy! I mean how soon is too soon to move in with a guy? I am now entering my mid-twenties and I only have a few friends who live with their significant others. Most of the time they say it's for "financial" reasons, because that is what they tell their parents, however, I think a lot of that is BS. My older sister just called me today to tell me that her current roommate is moving out, and now she is stuck looking for a new roomie and a new place. So naturally I suggested that she move in with her boyfriend.
She is right around the same age as me and they've been together for a couple years now, and friends since college. But no sooner had I said it than I started thinking, is that really good advice?? I used to think that my parents would be COMPLETELY against one of us girls living with a BF. They are both pretty old fashioned, especially my Dad. And what father really wants to think about his daughter shacking up with some guy?!? I mean even when boyfriends are visiting at my parents house, there is absolutely NO sleeping in the same bedroom, not when we're under "their roof." But I recently had a conversation with my Mom about my younger sister and her longterm boyfriend, and she is the one who suggested that they live together. I was floored, but she made a good point... Since she's graduating from college and planning on moving home, my Mom would rather KNOW that she is always going to be sleeping at her boyfriends because she lives there, than wondering if she is coming home everynight. I guess it makes complete sense, especially if it would give her a more sound mind. But still, at this stage of the game, are we old enough to be living with boys?? Is this just the first step towards wedded bliss? 
I don't know, but I love living with my roommate and having someone to paint my nails with, and someone who will ALWAYS watch "The Notebook" with me, and who keeps a clean house. I am definitely not at the stage of the game in my life (I don't even have a man), but still, even if I was in a serious relationship, I think I'd still want my space. I just feel so young still! So help me Hot Mama, what advice should I give my sister? Is it a recipe for a disaster or co-habitational harmony??-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
You're definitely not too young to be living with a long-term boyfriend nor is your sister. Remember, we girls used to be regularly married off at 15 and 16 and in your grandparents generation 18 and 19. So you're not too young at 25. And in today's day and age it definitely makes financial sense, especially if the couple foresees a long-term committed relationship. Why not start saving now on two rents, gas, water and utility bills? And it would be more stressful for your mom to have her home treated like a motel. Not to mention, the stress of wondering if your sister is ok. In terms of co-habitation leading to wedded bliss it's a mixed bag.
If you do it just to "try it" you won't have as successful a marriage versus already being engaged before you shack up. The theory is that if you're just "trying" it you probably have doubts and so the relationship was vulnerable to a break-up already. In my case, my husband and I were of the mind that we shouldn't co-habitate unless it was with the intention of getting married and back in the late 80's it was still somewhat shocking for parents to have their kids shack up. Why would you want to go through all the hassle of moving and co-mingling everything from bills to furniture only to know you were just "trying it out?" So we were committed and got engaged a month after I moved in. Unfortunately we still divorced 14 years and two kids later but we had a 17 year run and are still good friends. And I don't think it had anything to do with living together first but was a matter of who we were as people when we first met. So, Eager Beaver my advice is to wait until you meet the man you want to marry because there's no sense in giving up a Sunday marathon of "Say Yes to the Dress" for Sunday football before you have to!-Hot Mama
