The New "IT" Couple...

Hot Mama,

So I don't know if this has hit your radar at all, but I am guessing that with a teenage daughter, it has. There is a new hot couple in Hollywood, and it has caused some controversial G-Chat debates amongst me and some of my friends... Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhal! Personally, I have never been a big fan of Taylor's. I always thought that she was kind of overrated. However, recently I watched her E! True Hollywood story, and I think I might have a little bit of a girl-crush on her. OMG, she is so freaking talented. And I'd like to think that if she knew me, we would be the very best of friends. So, I have a bunch of friends who are totally anti Jake and Taylor, and think that they are a weird couple, because of the age difference. My parents have a pretty significant age gap (almost 12 years), and they have been married for almost 30 years! Maybe that is why the almost 10 year difference in age doesn't bother me a bit. In fact, I think that someone like Taylor needs an older man. She is so mature and has accomplished so much, how is she supposed to date some Taylor Lautner, 20 year old guy... what would they even talk about?? An older man like Jake, won't be intimidated by all of her success, and will treat her right. Not to mention, I think that they are pretty adorable together. What do you think? Have you ever dated a significantly older (or younger) man? How would you feel if I started dating an older guy? I can't get much younger without it being illegal... Taylor might be on to something... maybe we could learn something from her!
-Eager Beaver

Eager Beaver,

At first I thought the Taylor/Jake hook-up was strange but then I remembered that my first sexual experience was with a man (a rocker!) who was 29 and I was 21. And there was a 10 year age gap between my parents and they were married 35 years until my Dad passed away. Now Mom’s dating a man who’s 9 years older. So, I think my initial reaction had more to do with them as people just because Taylor is a little goofy but I think Jake is too. And they both seem like sweet people ( I KNOW she is!) who want to be in long-term relationships. Thank God Tay swiftly got over that stupid John Mayer crush! Yuck! What a man-ho!!! Jake has shown himself to be a serial monogamist which I like. Not to mention he’s hot, talented, funny, smart and family-oriented (he took on Reese Witherspoon and her kids and just look at him with his sister Maggie’s child!) Their age gap does seem perfect because, I agree, what 20 yr old guy can match her in brains and talent and not be threatened? BTW, I’m a HUGE Taylor Swift fan! I have all of her CDs and took my daughter to her concert for MY birthday, Taylor rocked it! Love, love, love her! It’s a little sick I think (no, I don’t have posters or t-shirts or anything) but there’s something about her and her music that brings out my inner teen and my mama bear at the same time! To me she is a total phee-nom, not just a trend like Demi Lovato! Course, I hope Demi gets the help she needs! Anyway, back to topic at hand, a 10 year age gap is not as big a deal as it once was and that goes both ways!
-Hot Mama

Why Are So Many Men on Dating Sites Cheaters?

Eager Beaver,

I don't know what's up with the universe and lying, cheating men. I have two good friends who are both on match.com who have had hideous experiences with men recently. One friend, D, has been seeing a man in Seattle for about three months and another friend, A, has been seeing one for six weeks. Both of them weren't exactly head over heels for the guys but thought that they were nice enough to try to get to know better and give a chance to. Both of my friends are extremely attractive and fit, D is a dishy little blonde in her 50's and A is a hot brunette in her 40's. They're hard-working moms hoping to meet nice, hard-working men. D had a first date with R that went well but on the second date he made some inappropriate comments about women who walked by their table and some references to porn. D addressed these comments immediately and R confessed he was just feeling insecure because D is so beautiful and he didn't feel worthy. She gave him a pass and he never made a stupid comment again and was a gentleman during the time they dated. A, who is a personal trainer, had a very good first date lunch with B, a successful businessman, and he followed up by asking her for a training session, which she agreed to. The training session went well until he "jokingly" asked to see her breasts. A was insulted, let B know it and B apologized profusely and explained that he hadn't meant to disrespect her and that it wouldn't happen again. And it didn't. They continued to see each other and talked on the phone for hours.

D got a phone call today from a very distraught woman who rambled on about the fact that D was seeing a man the woman had been dating for 4 1/2 years. D was confused at first because she thought the woman must have the wrong person, but she finally pieced it together and realized that the entire time R had been lying to her. And in fact this poor woman had actually cleaned his condo for a date he had with D that day! A received a phone call from B who explained that before they went any further (and they'd gone plenty far) that he was still seeing the woman he had left behind in South Carolina but that they had an "understanding." WTF?!!! Why do men do this? Seriously?! All this work for sex? Can't they just hire it? Who raised these men? How can they be so very, very disrespectful of another human being's feelings? Four women were hurt by two men! I want to speak to their mothers and find out how their sons ended up feeling that it was okay to victimize women. Would they be proud to share their stories 'round the family Christmas table? I'm so disgusted. Truly, I am in shock, I feel like men my age should behave much, much better towards women. I mean we were raised in the generation where moms stayed home and everyone held up "Leave it to Beaver" as the example of a happy home. They seem to be no better at all than men 20-30 years younger. What the hell is going on? Is the universe collapsing?
-Hot Mama :(

Oh Hot Mama,

This gives me VERY little hope for my future. I have been trying the whole "online" thing for a couple of months now, and let me tell you, I haven't been that impressed. I feel like you are right and that the guys on these sites are just looking for some action, just like the guys I meet at the bars. I am starting to wonder if maybe all men are just cheaters, and we are all destined to be hurt by them... This isn't a positive way for me to go into the holidays and the New Year, but I just can't help it. Stories like these are all around me! I feel so bad for A and for D. As we always wonder... who is raising these men?!?
-EB

Mom Cave... Is this for real?

Eager Beaver,

OMG. Today on the TV show I work on we discussed the trend towards women, specifically mothers, having their own special "space" in the home. The "space" it was suggested could be a converted closet or the corner of a room or attic. What? WHAT? Men get entire dens, offices, basements, garages, whatever. They get a whole room to do in what they like. Apparently, the thinking is that a "corner" is all we need because the rest of the house is "ours."
Really? Ours to do what in? Cook, clean, dishes, laundry,sweep, dust, vacuum, windows, toilets, change sheets? Really? Where is Mama's sanctuary exactly? The bathtub? No, because the second you settle into your soothing bubbles someone is at the door shouting that they need something, like a run to Michael's for poster board for a science project that's due the next day! Moms not only deserve, but need, a room of their own with a door that shuts and when that door is shut it means NO interruptions unless someone's hurt or the house is on fire and it better be a big fire. Women need a place to decompress and disconnect from all the needs of their loved ones just as much as men do but women rarely take the time to just space out and watch a game. No, when we sit down to watch our favorite show, like Snapped, it's with a pile of laundry or thank you cards or bills or sewing repairs, etc. It's rarely to just kick back, drink a beer and gorge on Cool Ranch Doritos. Ladies we are our own worst enemy. Your family can be trained to leave you alone for 30 - 60 minutes...really, they can! You just have to refuse to give into the need (guilt) to answer everyone's questions or solve their problems. They'll find their gym bag, the homework will still be there, they can clean up the cat vomit, honestly, while you recharge in your sanctuary! Now take that unused guest room, guests can sleep on the sofa like they did back in the day, and transform it into a place that will fulfill YOU! To your cave!
-Hot Mama

Hot Mama,

You know the first thing I thought when I read this... TYPICAL! Isn't it just so typical that they are telling a woman that she needs to take an unused closet or a CORNER OF A ROOM and make a special space for herself. I will have to say that it is one thing about where I am in my life that is so wonderful. Granted, there are not a TON of great things about being single... BUT, having no man and no children means that there is a lot of space to myself. I don't have to take just a corner of a room, I can have an ENTIRE room. I can decorate it the way that I want, and keep it clean like I want, and do whatever I want, because it is all mine. It's sad that as women get into serious relationships and get married and have babies, they slowly start to lose themselves. Shouldn't we all be focusing on taking care of ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally? If we have time (and space) for ourselves, then we are able to take better care of the rest of the people in our lives. We can be more relaxed and focused, and can put our energy into the things and people that really matter. Why don't we start giving men an attic or a small unused corner and see how they like it!
-Eager Beaver

PS: Just for fun I thought I would attach a couple of pictures for what I found for a "Mom Cave" versus a "Man Cave." You decide which looks more appealing...

MAN CAVE:


MOM CAVE: