Eager Beaver,
I don't know what's up with the universe and lying, cheating men. I have two good friends who are both on match.com who have had hideous experiences with men recently. One friend, D, has been seeing a man in Seattle for about three months and another friend, A, has been seeing one for six weeks. Both of them weren't exactly head over heels for the guys but thought that they were nice enough to try to get to know better and give a chance to. Both of my friends are extremely attractive and fit, D is a dishy little blonde in her 50's and A is a hot brunette in her 40's. They're hard-working moms hoping to meet nice, hard-working men. D had a first date with R that went well but on the second date he made some inappropriate comments about women who walked by their table and some references to porn. D addressed these comments immediately and R confessed he was just feeling insecure because D is so beautiful and he didn't feel worthy. She gave him a pass and he never made a stupid comment again and was a gentleman during the time they dated. A, who is a personal trainer, had a very good first date lunch with B, a successful businessman, and he followed up by asking her for a training session, which she agreed to. The training session went well until he "jokingly" asked to see her breasts. A was insulted, let B know it and B apologized profusely and explained that he hadn't meant to disrespect her and that it wouldn't happen again. And it didn't. They continued to see each other and talked on the phone for hours.
D got a phone call today from a very distraught woman who rambled on about the fact that D was seeing a man the woman had been dating for 4 1/2 years. D was confused at first because she thought the woman must have the wrong person, but she finally pieced it together and realized that the entire time R had been lying to her. And in fact this poor woman had actually cleaned his condo for a date he had with D that day! A received a phone call from B who explained that before they went any further (and they'd gone plenty far) that he was still seeing the woman he had left behind in South Carolina but that they had an "understanding." WTF?!!! Why do men do this? Seriously?! All this work for sex? Can't they just hire it? Who raised these men? How can they be so very, very disrespectful of another human being's feelings? Four women were hurt by two men! I want to speak to their mothers and find out how their sons ended up feeling that it was okay to victimize women. Would they be proud to share their stories 'round the family Christmas table? I'm so disgusted. Truly, I am in shock, I feel like men my age should behave much, much better towards women. I mean we were raised in the generation where moms stayed home and everyone held up "Leave it to Beaver" as the example of a happy home. They seem to be no better at all than men 20-30 years younger. What the hell is going on? Is the universe collapsing?
-Hot Mama :(
Oh Hot Mama,
This gives me VERY little hope for my future. I have been trying the whole "online" thing for a couple of months now, and let me tell you, I haven't been that impressed. I feel like you are right and that the guys on these sites are just looking for some action, just like the guys I meet at the bars. I am starting to wonder if maybe all men are just cheaters, and we are all destined to be hurt by them... This isn't a positive way for me to go into the holidays and the New Year, but I just can't help it. Stories like these are all around me! I feel so bad for A and for D. As we always wonder... who is raising these men?!?
-EB
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