Eager Beaver,
I was the subject of what at first was a flattering conversation and then turned into a "what the ....?" I wore a new top today and apparently the color is very good for me because one male co-worker couldn't keep from commenting on how good I looked! Which, of course, I totally appreciated! Then another male co-worker came by and asked what we were talking about and the first said "look at her!" and the other co-worker said "Oh, yeah, she looks good but I don't look at her as a sexual object..." and the first says "Pity you!" which made us all laugh. But the other co-worker continued and said "Yeah but she doesn't yell at you in morning meetings so I look at her as a wife." We all laughed at that too, and yes, he was kidding about the yelling, but technically in our morning meetings I am the "boss" of him so we knew what he was saying. Umm, yeah, so we knew what he was saying...that wives aren't sexy! Because then I said "Oh, so that's when women become desexualized, when we become wives, remind me not to let that happen again!" Aaargh! It's true though: marriage desexualizes you which is why you see so many women and men get their A-game back on when they're going through a divorce or right afterwards. It's so frustrating, I mean, I think I may want to get married again some day, jury's still out, BUT I definitely don't if my husband will eventually just see me as a piece of furniture again. I guess that's why there are sooo many articles in women's magazines about rekindling the romance. It's just one of the inherent pitfalls of living with someone on a daily basis and I'm not sure there is a solution to this with even the best intentioned couples. Maybe that piece of paper is where it all goes wrong? Look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, together over 27 years! Here's what Goldie has to say about not being married but keeping the relationship alive:
"I think the secret is to know when to depend on somebody and when not to. It’s important that you are able to hold up your side of the house. I believe that one person can’t bear the whole burden because then their shoulders start getting heavy. The other part is to stay as sexy as you can and make sure you focus on all of those aspects of a healthy relationship — and sexuality is definitely one of them."
Read more: http://anythinghollywood.com/2009/03/hollywoods-golden-couple-goldie-hawn-and-kurt-russell/#ixzz1QhpsNPP4
I'm not sure why married couples let it go but I think it's an attitude of "I got the prize so now I don't have to try anymore." Which is exactly the opposite of what you should be thinking, you should probably be trying even harder to "keep the prize" because unfortunately that old but familiar saying "familiarity breeds contempt" is true for a reason. So, Eager Beaver, I know you want to be married some day, and that's a good thing, but please remember to keep your sexy on, not just for your spouse but for yourself too!
-Still Got it Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
First of all I have to say you are ONE HOT MAMA! You were hot when you were married and you are still smokin' hot now that you are single, and look at least 10 years younger than you actually are. So I am certainly not surprised that your male co-workers were commenting on how good you look. I do think it is interesting though that he said he saw you as a "wife" which is why he couldn't look at you in a sexual way. How about because of the fact that you work together... haha regardless it makes me wonder about what is waiting at home. I don't know if it's just women in marriages or long-term relationships or what. Why would you let yourself go, once you get what you've worked so hard for? I really don't understand that mentality at all... not even a little bit. Like really, just because you get married you are allowed to gain a bunch of weight and get stop dressing nicely or fixing your hair or make-up when you are going out with your man? When I find a man that I want to spend the rest of my life with, then I will be working every day so my husband looks at me as the hot and sexy woman he married and not just another piece of furniture. I want to always be the most attractive thing in my husbands life!! We will NOT let this happen to us. I would hate for my future husband to say something like that to his co-workers. And looking good and taking care of yourself makes YOU feel good too, and it shows that you take pride in yourself. I plan to keep workin' it til my last days on this earth!
-EagerBeaver
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
How Soon is TOO Soon?
Hot Mama,
I have a question for you... how soon is too soon? And no, I don't mean how soon is too soon to sleep with a guy! I mean how soon is too soon to move in with a guy? I am now entering my mid-twenties and I only have a few friends who live with their significant others. Most of the time they say it's for "financial" reasons, because that is what they tell their parents, however, I think a lot of that is BS. My older sister just called me today to tell me that her current roommate is moving out, and now she is stuck looking for a new roomie and a new place. So naturally I suggested that she move in with her boyfriend.
She is right around the same age as me and they've been together for a couple years now, and friends since college. But no sooner had I said it than I started thinking, is that really good advice?? I used to think that my parents would be COMPLETELY against one of us girls living with a BF. They are both pretty old fashioned, especially my Dad. And what father really wants to think about his daughter shacking up with some guy?!? I mean even when boyfriends are visiting at my parents house, there is absolutely NO sleeping in the same bedroom, not when we're under "their roof." But I recently had a conversation with my Mom about my younger sister and her longterm boyfriend, and she is the one who suggested that they live together. I was floored, but she made a good point... Since she's graduating from college and planning on moving home, my Mom would rather KNOW that she is always going to be sleeping at her boyfriends because she lives there, than wondering if she is coming home everynight. I guess it makes complete sense, especially if it would give her a more sound mind. But still, at this stage of the game, are we old enough to be living with boys?? Is this just the first step towards wedded bliss? 
I don't know, but I love living with my roommate and having someone to paint my nails with, and someone who will ALWAYS watch "The Notebook" with me, and who keeps a clean house. I am definitely not at the stage of the game in my life (I don't even have a man), but still, even if I was in a serious relationship, I think I'd still want my space. I just feel so young still! So help me Hot Mama, what advice should I give my sister? Is it a recipe for a disaster or co-habitational harmony??
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
You're definitely not too young to be living with a long-term boyfriend nor is your sister. Remember, we girls used to be regularly married off at 15 and 16 and in your grandparents generation 18 and 19. So you're not too young at 25. And in today's day and age it definitely makes financial sense, especially if the couple foresees a long-term committed relationship. Why not start saving now on two rents, gas, water and utility bills? And it would be more stressful for your mom to have her home treated like a motel. Not to mention, the stress of wondering if your sister is ok. In terms of co-habitation leading to wedded bliss it's a mixed bag.
If you do it just to "try it" you won't have as successful a marriage versus already being engaged before you shack up. The theory is that if you're just "trying" it you probably have doubts and so the relationship was vulnerable to a break-up already. In my case, my husband and I were of the mind that we shouldn't co-habitate unless it was with the intention of getting married and back in the late 80's it was still somewhat shocking for parents to have their kids shack up. Why would you want to go through all the hassle of moving and co-mingling everything from bills to furniture only to know you were just "trying it out?" So we were committed and got engaged a month after I moved in. Unfortunately we still divorced 14 years and two kids later but we had a 17 year run and are still good friends. And I don't think it had anything to do with living together first but was a matter of who we were as people when we first met. So, Eager Beaver my advice is to wait until you meet the man you want to marry because there's no sense in giving up a Sunday marathon of "Say Yes to the Dress" for Sunday football before you have to!
-Hot Mama
I have a question for you... how soon is too soon? And no, I don't mean how soon is too soon to sleep with a guy! I mean how soon is too soon to move in with a guy? I am now entering my mid-twenties and I only have a few friends who live with their significant others. Most of the time they say it's for "financial" reasons, because that is what they tell their parents, however, I think a lot of that is BS. My older sister just called me today to tell me that her current roommate is moving out, and now she is stuck looking for a new roomie and a new place. So naturally I suggested that she move in with her boyfriend.
She is right around the same age as me and they've been together for a couple years now, and friends since college. But no sooner had I said it than I started thinking, is that really good advice?? I used to think that my parents would be COMPLETELY against one of us girls living with a BF. They are both pretty old fashioned, especially my Dad. And what father really wants to think about his daughter shacking up with some guy?!? I mean even when boyfriends are visiting at my parents house, there is absolutely NO sleeping in the same bedroom, not when we're under "their roof." But I recently had a conversation with my Mom about my younger sister and her longterm boyfriend, and she is the one who suggested that they live together. I was floored, but she made a good point... Since she's graduating from college and planning on moving home, my Mom would rather KNOW that she is always going to be sleeping at her boyfriends because she lives there, than wondering if she is coming home everynight. I guess it makes complete sense, especially if it would give her a more sound mind. But still, at this stage of the game, are we old enough to be living with boys?? Is this just the first step towards wedded bliss? 
I don't know, but I love living with my roommate and having someone to paint my nails with, and someone who will ALWAYS watch "The Notebook" with me, and who keeps a clean house. I am definitely not at the stage of the game in my life (I don't even have a man), but still, even if I was in a serious relationship, I think I'd still want my space. I just feel so young still! So help me Hot Mama, what advice should I give my sister? Is it a recipe for a disaster or co-habitational harmony??-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
You're definitely not too young to be living with a long-term boyfriend nor is your sister. Remember, we girls used to be regularly married off at 15 and 16 and in your grandparents generation 18 and 19. So you're not too young at 25. And in today's day and age it definitely makes financial sense, especially if the couple foresees a long-term committed relationship. Why not start saving now on two rents, gas, water and utility bills? And it would be more stressful for your mom to have her home treated like a motel. Not to mention, the stress of wondering if your sister is ok. In terms of co-habitation leading to wedded bliss it's a mixed bag.
If you do it just to "try it" you won't have as successful a marriage versus already being engaged before you shack up. The theory is that if you're just "trying" it you probably have doubts and so the relationship was vulnerable to a break-up already. In my case, my husband and I were of the mind that we shouldn't co-habitate unless it was with the intention of getting married and back in the late 80's it was still somewhat shocking for parents to have their kids shack up. Why would you want to go through all the hassle of moving and co-mingling everything from bills to furniture only to know you were just "trying it out?" So we were committed and got engaged a month after I moved in. Unfortunately we still divorced 14 years and two kids later but we had a 17 year run and are still good friends. And I don't think it had anything to do with living together first but was a matter of who we were as people when we first met. So, Eager Beaver my advice is to wait until you meet the man you want to marry because there's no sense in giving up a Sunday marathon of "Say Yes to the Dress" for Sunday football before you have to!-Hot Mama
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Call me Mrs. Kardashian...
Hot Mama,
It's no secret that I am addicted to "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." And I do in fact, keep up with the crazy clan. In the most recent episode Kris is debating changing her name from Jenner back to Kardashian. Which naturally made me extremely upset, as I am a huge Bruce fan. And I think he puts up with so much from the women in that family, the ringleader of which is Kris. So she says that she thinks she should change it back because Kardashian has become a "brand." And as she says, "People already think I'm a Kardashian and call me Mrs. Kardashian."
I think the best part was the reaction from all of the girls when Kris told them. Both the Kardashian and Jenner girls couldn't believe the audacity of Kris. Kendall even went so far as to say, "How could you disrespect my Dad like that?" Which is so true! Who do you think you are Kris?! You are so lucky to have a wonderful and devoted husband who has put up with you and your shennanigans for 20 plus years. Not to mention that he RAISED the Kardashian children as his own! Such a sign of disrespect. And really is it worth the attention / fame / whatever she thought she would get out of this to emasculate her husband and on top of that really hurt his feelings? He's the one who goes to sleep with you every night, not the press, not the public, but him. I just couldn't even believe it. Then at the end of the episode she makes a big announcement at a family dinner that she feels bad about considering changing it to Kardashian and that she loves Bruce and that he's the best thing that ever happened to her. It's like, YA RIGHT, you just feel bad cause everyone guilted and shamed you and Khloe called you a "fame whore!"
-Eager "Call me Mrs. Jenner (Brody that is..)" Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Not much to say except that I agree with you 100 percent!! Shame on Kris and...Khloe has her mom pegged.
-Hot Mama
It's no secret that I am addicted to "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." And I do in fact, keep up with the crazy clan. In the most recent episode Kris is debating changing her name from Jenner back to Kardashian. Which naturally made me extremely upset, as I am a huge Bruce fan. And I think he puts up with so much from the women in that family, the ringleader of which is Kris. So she says that she thinks she should change it back because Kardashian has become a "brand." And as she says, "People already think I'm a Kardashian and call me Mrs. Kardashian."
I think the best part was the reaction from all of the girls when Kris told them. Both the Kardashian and Jenner girls couldn't believe the audacity of Kris. Kendall even went so far as to say, "How could you disrespect my Dad like that?" Which is so true! Who do you think you are Kris?! You are so lucky to have a wonderful and devoted husband who has put up with you and your shennanigans for 20 plus years. Not to mention that he RAISED the Kardashian children as his own! Such a sign of disrespect. And really is it worth the attention / fame / whatever she thought she would get out of this to emasculate her husband and on top of that really hurt his feelings? He's the one who goes to sleep with you every night, not the press, not the public, but him. I just couldn't even believe it. Then at the end of the episode she makes a big announcement at a family dinner that she feels bad about considering changing it to Kardashian and that she loves Bruce and that he's the best thing that ever happened to her. It's like, YA RIGHT, you just feel bad cause everyone guilted and shamed you and Khloe called you a "fame whore!"
-Eager "Call me Mrs. Jenner (Brody that is..)" Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Not much to say except that I agree with you 100 percent!! Shame on Kris and...Khloe has her mom pegged.
-Hot Mama
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Why Doesn't Anyone Ever Tell You...???
Hot Mama,
I know, I know I am only in my twenties and I probably have no right to complain about this... but it's not just me, my roomie has totally made comments about this too. What is going on with our bodies? I seriously feel like my metabolism has just stopped. She and I both laugh at each other because we keep noticing all of these changes in our shape (and size!) I used to be able to hit the gym and drop any weight that I gained in a heartbeat. Now, I go on vacation for two weeks and gain 8lbs, and I come back and can't even lose the 8lbs in a full 8 weeks. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT!? It is so traumatizing. And to top it all off, I feel like I am getting to a point where I want to just give up. Is this common? Or are she and I both just lazy and need to make a change? It's not like we are gaining tons of weight or anything like that, but my body is just totally reflecting my lifestyle like it never did before. And to not be able to drop my vacay weight quickly has been such a blow. If I would've known before I left that it would be like this on my return, I would have put down my cheeseburger with bacon, avocado, fried onions, and a fried egg, and picked up a salad fork instead. UGH, this is too traumatic!
-Eager"WTF"Beaver
Beautiful Eager Beaver,
Welcome to womanhood. It always amazes me when other women look at girls in their late teens and early twenties and get discouraged! Soon enough those girls will be in their mid-twenties and everything will change. They will finally be in their women's bodies! You don't really know what your body is like until you hit this age. I've seen it happen again and again. Don't despair but this is now your "real" body, your other body was your girl body. Maturing aint all fun. And not to be a downer but wait until you hit my age and you gain another 8 pounds and can't get rid of that! And you're still remembering what your body was like at 22, 16 - 20 pounds ago, and thinking why is it so hard to get there? It's just life as a homosapien. And it's the same for men. It sucks for sure because there is nothing you can do about it except eat less and exercise more...a lot more. It's so true that you can't eat like you did just a year or two ago and that's the same for my age, it seems to happen overnight, it's awful! You can get rid of it, it's just not as easy as it once was! Or you can just enjoy your 25 year old body for another 25 years (because you're gorgeous just as you are) if you're not having kids, never mind about after a baby cuz that's a whole nother story, or figure out what works for you calorie and exercise wise to get your 19 year old body back NOW before life catches up with you again! The good news? Men seem to love us just the way we are at 19 or 49!
-Hot Mama
I know, I know I am only in my twenties and I probably have no right to complain about this... but it's not just me, my roomie has totally made comments about this too. What is going on with our bodies? I seriously feel like my metabolism has just stopped. She and I both laugh at each other because we keep noticing all of these changes in our shape (and size!) I used to be able to hit the gym and drop any weight that I gained in a heartbeat. Now, I go on vacation for two weeks and gain 8lbs, and I come back and can't even lose the 8lbs in a full 8 weeks. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT!? It is so traumatizing. And to top it all off, I feel like I am getting to a point where I want to just give up. Is this common? Or are she and I both just lazy and need to make a change? It's not like we are gaining tons of weight or anything like that, but my body is just totally reflecting my lifestyle like it never did before. And to not be able to drop my vacay weight quickly has been such a blow. If I would've known before I left that it would be like this on my return, I would have put down my cheeseburger with bacon, avocado, fried onions, and a fried egg, and picked up a salad fork instead. UGH, this is too traumatic!
-Eager"WTF"Beaver
Beautiful Eager Beaver,
Welcome to womanhood. It always amazes me when other women look at girls in their late teens and early twenties and get discouraged! Soon enough those girls will be in their mid-twenties and everything will change. They will finally be in their women's bodies! You don't really know what your body is like until you hit this age. I've seen it happen again and again. Don't despair but this is now your "real" body, your other body was your girl body. Maturing aint all fun. And not to be a downer but wait until you hit my age and you gain another 8 pounds and can't get rid of that! And you're still remembering what your body was like at 22, 16 - 20 pounds ago, and thinking why is it so hard to get there? It's just life as a homosapien. And it's the same for men. It sucks for sure because there is nothing you can do about it except eat less and exercise more...a lot more. It's so true that you can't eat like you did just a year or two ago and that's the same for my age, it seems to happen overnight, it's awful! You can get rid of it, it's just not as easy as it once was! Or you can just enjoy your 25 year old body for another 25 years (because you're gorgeous just as you are) if you're not having kids, never mind about after a baby cuz that's a whole nother story, or figure out what works for you calorie and exercise wise to get your 19 year old body back NOW before life catches up with you again! The good news? Men seem to love us just the way we are at 19 or 49!
-Hot Mama
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Money Matters...
Hot Mama,
Last night I was chatting with my best friend on line and out of the blue, he posed a question to me that really got me thinking. How much does money matter? I mean, I have less than no experience in this regard, so I have to defer to you on this one. And I know what I think, but I am just curious as to how you see it! I know you live a lot like I do, and I wonder with your ex-husband how things were for the two of you. Below is a piece of our conversation...
HIM: When you get married, would you want a joint bank account?
ME: haha depends, would I marry someone with more money than me, or less money than me?
HIM: um...less, but interesting side note
ME: So here is what I think, #1 I know the type of person that I am and how I am with my money. And it would be necessary for me to find a partner that feels the same way about money that I do. And #2 I like living well and enjoying my life. I am not a person who pinches pennies or saves every dime, and it would be hard for me to be with someone like that. I also couldn't justify everything that I buy, it would be too exhausting for me. That being said, I definitely wouldn't mind sharing my money. I would consider myself a very generous person, and I know that you can't take it with you, and I like sharing what I have. If my husband thought I was too frivilous spending money on clothes or what have you, then I would understand if he wanted to keep money separate. But to me, it's all about combining lives, and I would think that would be part of it... BUT I would also like a separate account on my own, because if I buy my hubby a gift, I'd want it to be from money I earned, not his or our joint account, because it's just not as special that way.
Did you and the ex-hubby have a joint account? Did you have an issue combining funds? And then I think now that you've been on your own for a few years and dealing with your own finances and financial issues, what would you do if you got married again? Is there a security in combining assets or a security in NOT combining assets? And I made a joke to him about depending on whether or not my man made less money to me, but I wonder if that would ever be a part of it. For someone my age I make a pretty decent salary, and the likelihood of me being with a man who makes less than I do, does in fact exist. I want to be idealistic and think that I could be in a great marriage where money wasn't a big issue, but I am not naive, and I know that is NEVER the case! And then, when kids come in to the picture, things just get even that more complicated!
-EagerBeaver
Eager Beaver,
Interesting that you bring up this topic as I have a friend who is going through a divorce right now and we were just discussing the issue of joint and his and her accounts. The couple operate as my ex and I did, we had a joint and separate accounts. Into the joint we put money for all necessary things such as food, rent, gas, water, phone, utilities, medical, etc. and we each had our own accounts for discretionary spending. In my ex-husband's and my case, we put it in as a percentage of our incomes because he made more than I did by a third to half. So it wouldn't really be equitable for me to have to put in half of the mortgage when I made so much less than him. In my friend's case, he is the bread winner and puts money into the joint account for all their mutual expenses plus some and now it's a sticky situation because it wasn't ever really "joint" as it was all of his money. Interestingly, experts agree with how my ex and I handled it and we didn't have a lot of signposts back in the day, it's just what made sense. Now, that's not to say that this prevented us from having money issues because it didn't. Especially when it came to saving and spending, do we "need" that muscle car (a classic 442 convertible Oldsmobile in tomato red) or a trip to Europe? And, you and I are alike, even back then I hated being told how to spend my money. In retrospect though, since money is one of the top two issues that dissolve marriages, I think that somehow swallowing your financial need for autonomy for the good of the union is paramount. I believe that you can the joint and separate but you need to have monthly or quarterly meetings on where you're at financially. It feels like being taken to task BUT if you're in it together for the long, long, long haul then you should plan for your future together. There was a couple we knew that did this and the wife would make fun of her husband for their "meetings", he had charts and everything, an engineer, but she sat down with him and did it. And they're still married! Even though they stopped having sex years and years ago because he's not sexually attracted to her anymore! And I'm not. So, the moral of this story is you can have it "your" way but be sure to have it "our" way too!
-Hot Mama
Last night I was chatting with my best friend on line and out of the blue, he posed a question to me that really got me thinking. How much does money matter? I mean, I have less than no experience in this regard, so I have to defer to you on this one. And I know what I think, but I am just curious as to how you see it! I know you live a lot like I do, and I wonder with your ex-husband how things were for the two of you. Below is a piece of our conversation...
HIM: When you get married, would you want a joint bank account?
ME: haha depends, would I marry someone with more money than me, or less money than me?
HIM: um...less, but interesting side note
ME: So here is what I think, #1 I know the type of person that I am and how I am with my money. And it would be necessary for me to find a partner that feels the same way about money that I do. And #2 I like living well and enjoying my life. I am not a person who pinches pennies or saves every dime, and it would be hard for me to be with someone like that. I also couldn't justify everything that I buy, it would be too exhausting for me. That being said, I definitely wouldn't mind sharing my money. I would consider myself a very generous person, and I know that you can't take it with you, and I like sharing what I have. If my husband thought I was too frivilous spending money on clothes or what have you, then I would understand if he wanted to keep money separate. But to me, it's all about combining lives, and I would think that would be part of it... BUT I would also like a separate account on my own, because if I buy my hubby a gift, I'd want it to be from money I earned, not his or our joint account, because it's just not as special that way.
Did you and the ex-hubby have a joint account? Did you have an issue combining funds? And then I think now that you've been on your own for a few years and dealing with your own finances and financial issues, what would you do if you got married again? Is there a security in combining assets or a security in NOT combining assets? And I made a joke to him about depending on whether or not my man made less money to me, but I wonder if that would ever be a part of it. For someone my age I make a pretty decent salary, and the likelihood of me being with a man who makes less than I do, does in fact exist. I want to be idealistic and think that I could be in a great marriage where money wasn't a big issue, but I am not naive, and I know that is NEVER the case! And then, when kids come in to the picture, things just get even that more complicated!
-EagerBeaver
Eager Beaver,
Interesting that you bring up this topic as I have a friend who is going through a divorce right now and we were just discussing the issue of joint and his and her accounts. The couple operate as my ex and I did, we had a joint and separate accounts. Into the joint we put money for all necessary things such as food, rent, gas, water, phone, utilities, medical, etc. and we each had our own accounts for discretionary spending. In my ex-husband's and my case, we put it in as a percentage of our incomes because he made more than I did by a third to half. So it wouldn't really be equitable for me to have to put in half of the mortgage when I made so much less than him. In my friend's case, he is the bread winner and puts money into the joint account for all their mutual expenses plus some and now it's a sticky situation because it wasn't ever really "joint" as it was all of his money. Interestingly, experts agree with how my ex and I handled it and we didn't have a lot of signposts back in the day, it's just what made sense. Now, that's not to say that this prevented us from having money issues because it didn't. Especially when it came to saving and spending, do we "need" that muscle car (a classic 442 convertible Oldsmobile in tomato red) or a trip to Europe? And, you and I are alike, even back then I hated being told how to spend my money. In retrospect though, since money is one of the top two issues that dissolve marriages, I think that somehow swallowing your financial need for autonomy for the good of the union is paramount. I believe that you can the joint and separate but you need to have monthly or quarterly meetings on where you're at financially. It feels like being taken to task BUT if you're in it together for the long, long, long haul then you should plan for your future together. There was a couple we knew that did this and the wife would make fun of her husband for their "meetings", he had charts and everything, an engineer, but she sat down with him and did it. And they're still married! Even though they stopped having sex years and years ago because he's not sexually attracted to her anymore! And I'm not. So, the moral of this story is you can have it "your" way but be sure to have it "our" way too!
-Hot Mama
Monday, May 30, 2011
Ashley Let Your Brain Do the Thinking, Please!
Dearest Eager Beaver,
What on God's green earth is wrong with this season's Bachelorette? I have never seen a such smart, cute, tight-bodied woman with such low self-esteem! How is it possible that she had 25 eligible men get out of that limo in the first show and she falls head-over-heels for the kind of creepy guy a mother hopes her daughter never crosses paths with? If I were talking right now I would be stuttering because I just can't get the words out fast enough or loud enough to express my complete and utter dismay over Ashley's lack of sense. Here's an educated good-looking woman who's about done with dental school, has a to-die-for body, adorable personality (when she's not being annoying of course) and is so insecure about her looks that she somehow immediately zeroes in on the biggest loser ever to come to reality tv because, according to Ashley, "he's hot."
Bentley had an X on his forehead from the moment he stepped out of the limo because she had been warned that he wasn't on the show for the right reasons. Yet, not only did she choose to allow him on the show she put him through TWO rose ceremonies and said he is the front runner for her affections. I say he is the front runner for her physical affections.Women like her give women like us a bad name. Out of 25 guys she managed to "nail" the worst in the bunch. She doesn't have a shred of common sense! He is not "hot" he is reprehensible and I would so like to find out how he was raised to be the lowest of low human beings.
Also, I have a big question mark over Ashley's parents heads right now too. How did she grow up thinking that everything she had going for her wasn't enough, that if only she was conventionally pretty she would be loveable? But no. She chases the wrong men constantly because she doesn't believe in or respect herself based on nothing but looks. Ashley use the brain God gave you and your heart! If you connect with a man in these two areas everything else will follow! She really is behaving no better than a man right now, all eyes no brains. I'm just disgusted.
-Hot Mama
OMG Hot Mama,
No other Bachelorette has ever bothered me more than Ashley. I just can't even deal with her at all and I really couldn't agree with you more. Her insecurities are so completely glaring. I thought that we saw them on her season with Brad, and now they are even more clear. It's like REALLY?!?! A friend of yours texts you and tells you that Bentley is there with bad intentions and doesn't actually want to pursue you, and somehow you still decide to keep him around?! And not just through one rose ceremony, but multiple rose ceremonies. Is it just because he is good looking and this is the first "hot" guy who has ever been interested in her? It's really interesting that you say that she doesn't think that she is good enough.
It seems like she is so uncomfortable in her own skin and so wrapped up in her looks. I can't imagine what it's going to be like for poor Ashley going forward when she has to watch these episodes. Seeing all of the terrible things that Bentley has said about her, and wishing that it was Emily or Chantal instead of her... It's certainly not going to bolster her self-esteem. But really she needed Hot Mama around to teach her about being self-confident and picking a man who is there for the right reasons! I don't know how I am going to make it through the rest of the season watching her doubt herself at every single turn!
-Eager Beaver
What on God's green earth is wrong with this season's Bachelorette? I have never seen a such smart, cute, tight-bodied woman with such low self-esteem! How is it possible that she had 25 eligible men get out of that limo in the first show and she falls head-over-heels for the kind of creepy guy a mother hopes her daughter never crosses paths with? If I were talking right now I would be stuttering because I just can't get the words out fast enough or loud enough to express my complete and utter dismay over Ashley's lack of sense. Here's an educated good-looking woman who's about done with dental school, has a to-die-for body, adorable personality (when she's not being annoying of course) and is so insecure about her looks that she somehow immediately zeroes in on the biggest loser ever to come to reality tv because, according to Ashley, "he's hot."
Bentley had an X on his forehead from the moment he stepped out of the limo because she had been warned that he wasn't on the show for the right reasons. Yet, not only did she choose to allow him on the show she put him through TWO rose ceremonies and said he is the front runner for her affections. I say he is the front runner for her physical affections.Women like her give women like us a bad name. Out of 25 guys she managed to "nail" the worst in the bunch. She doesn't have a shred of common sense! He is not "hot" he is reprehensible and I would so like to find out how he was raised to be the lowest of low human beings.
Also, I have a big question mark over Ashley's parents heads right now too. How did she grow up thinking that everything she had going for her wasn't enough, that if only she was conventionally pretty she would be loveable? But no. She chases the wrong men constantly because she doesn't believe in or respect herself based on nothing but looks. Ashley use the brain God gave you and your heart! If you connect with a man in these two areas everything else will follow! She really is behaving no better than a man right now, all eyes no brains. I'm just disgusted.-Hot Mama
OMG Hot Mama,
No other Bachelorette has ever bothered me more than Ashley. I just can't even deal with her at all and I really couldn't agree with you more. Her insecurities are so completely glaring. I thought that we saw them on her season with Brad, and now they are even more clear. It's like REALLY?!?! A friend of yours texts you and tells you that Bentley is there with bad intentions and doesn't actually want to pursue you, and somehow you still decide to keep him around?! And not just through one rose ceremony, but multiple rose ceremonies. Is it just because he is good looking and this is the first "hot" guy who has ever been interested in her? It's really interesting that you say that she doesn't think that she is good enough.
It seems like she is so uncomfortable in her own skin and so wrapped up in her looks. I can't imagine what it's going to be like for poor Ashley going forward when she has to watch these episodes. Seeing all of the terrible things that Bentley has said about her, and wishing that it was Emily or Chantal instead of her... It's certainly not going to bolster her self-esteem. But really she needed Hot Mama around to teach her about being self-confident and picking a man who is there for the right reasons! I don't know how I am going to make it through the rest of the season watching her doubt herself at every single turn!-Eager Beaver
Saturday, May 28, 2011
"The Real Housewives..." Is this Reality?!
Hot Mama,
I know I can say this to you without fear of judgement or a serious eyeroll, but I do spend a seious amount of time glued to my television watching, "The Real Housewives of Orange County." And I have to say that recently I've discovered I'm not the only one. It seems as if the "Real Housewives" craze has gotten to almost everyone I know! They have "real" housewives from everywhere these days: New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, OC, Beverly Hills, etc. Even just the slightest mention of Housewives gets women talking. But why?! Why are we so obsessed with watching these women whose supposed real lives are a far cry from anyone that I know.
They consider 'working' as having a clothing line or designing handbags or make-up. And are continually throwing huge lavish parties and vacations where they invite their 'friends,' who are actually more like frenemies in most cases. They spend 95% of the time bashing the women that they claim to be BFF's with behind their backs. They all have something negative to say about each other, or each others relationships, or jobs (or lack there of). And I wonder if I was poked and proded and prompted enough by Producers, if I would be able to say such negative and hurtful things about someone else, someone who is supposedly my friend, behind her back. I don't think that I could, and why would I chose to continue to spend time with someone if I didn't have anything good to say about them? And on top of that, trying to keep track of who is friends at any given point in time can be overwhelming and exhausting. One minute they hate each other, and the next minute, they're double dating and bashing someone else's husband. 
These women have insane amounts of disposable income, and spend a vast majority of their time devoted to their looks and upkeep. They don't talk about anything useful or productive, and most of the time they are downright mean. So why do I like it? And not just me, but women across America... Why do we ALL like it? How have they made SIX seasons of the same show? Nothing has changed, it's just the same old stuff, different day. It's in no way, shape or form a reflection of the real life of a woman. Having a nanny, and a cook, and a party planner, and a personal assistant... Yeah, I don't have ANY of those things. But somehow, I keep on watching. And not gonna lie, I love it! What gives... why do we spend countless hours watching this nonsense??
-Eager "Real Housewive of the REAL World" Beaver
Eager Beaver,
I admit that I too watch those shows occasionally and I HATE them! They just totally contribute to the idea that women are nothing more than grownup "mean girls!" Wow, I always say most men don't ever "grow up" they just "grow old" but these shows say exactly the same thing about women! It's mortifying. Who ARE these women? How did they all get such a sense of entitlement? I mean, seriously, their poop stinks just like anyone else's, worse probably. And an even bigger question for me is who are these MEN that marry them? What sane man finds these highly kept women attractive in any way? They do NOTHING! They don't even raise their own kids! And they're so botoxed and blown out who would want to sleep with them? So, what are they good for? Running around backstabbing their "friends" and spending the man's money?
I think people watch because it's like watching the "Stepford Wives" in a car crash. I guess it's this generation's "reality" version of "Dallas." I end up having to turn it off because I can't handle their mean-spirited vapidness. It turns my stomach. I do wonder when they watch themselves back if they have even the slightest shred of decency to be a little embarrassed by their behavior? Or were they all raised by wolves? I'm guessing it's the latter.
-Hot Mama
I know I can say this to you without fear of judgement or a serious eyeroll, but I do spend a seious amount of time glued to my television watching, "The Real Housewives of Orange County." And I have to say that recently I've discovered I'm not the only one. It seems as if the "Real Housewives" craze has gotten to almost everyone I know! They have "real" housewives from everywhere these days: New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, OC, Beverly Hills, etc. Even just the slightest mention of Housewives gets women talking. But why?! Why are we so obsessed with watching these women whose supposed real lives are a far cry from anyone that I know.
They consider 'working' as having a clothing line or designing handbags or make-up. And are continually throwing huge lavish parties and vacations where they invite their 'friends,' who are actually more like frenemies in most cases. They spend 95% of the time bashing the women that they claim to be BFF's with behind their backs. They all have something negative to say about each other, or each others relationships, or jobs (or lack there of). And I wonder if I was poked and proded and prompted enough by Producers, if I would be able to say such negative and hurtful things about someone else, someone who is supposedly my friend, behind her back. I don't think that I could, and why would I chose to continue to spend time with someone if I didn't have anything good to say about them? And on top of that, trying to keep track of who is friends at any given point in time can be overwhelming and exhausting. One minute they hate each other, and the next minute, they're double dating and bashing someone else's husband. 
These women have insane amounts of disposable income, and spend a vast majority of their time devoted to their looks and upkeep. They don't talk about anything useful or productive, and most of the time they are downright mean. So why do I like it? And not just me, but women across America... Why do we ALL like it? How have they made SIX seasons of the same show? Nothing has changed, it's just the same old stuff, different day. It's in no way, shape or form a reflection of the real life of a woman. Having a nanny, and a cook, and a party planner, and a personal assistant... Yeah, I don't have ANY of those things. But somehow, I keep on watching. And not gonna lie, I love it! What gives... why do we spend countless hours watching this nonsense??-Eager "Real Housewive of the REAL World" Beaver
Eager Beaver,
I admit that I too watch those shows occasionally and I HATE them! They just totally contribute to the idea that women are nothing more than grownup "mean girls!" Wow, I always say most men don't ever "grow up" they just "grow old" but these shows say exactly the same thing about women! It's mortifying. Who ARE these women? How did they all get such a sense of entitlement? I mean, seriously, their poop stinks just like anyone else's, worse probably. And an even bigger question for me is who are these MEN that marry them? What sane man finds these highly kept women attractive in any way? They do NOTHING! They don't even raise their own kids! And they're so botoxed and blown out who would want to sleep with them? So, what are they good for? Running around backstabbing their "friends" and spending the man's money?
I think people watch because it's like watching the "Stepford Wives" in a car crash. I guess it's this generation's "reality" version of "Dallas." I end up having to turn it off because I can't handle their mean-spirited vapidness. It turns my stomach. I do wonder when they watch themselves back if they have even the slightest shred of decency to be a little embarrassed by their behavior? Or were they all raised by wolves? I'm guessing it's the latter.-Hot Mama
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