Am I a Terrible Person??

Hot Mama,

I am starting to think that maybe I am a terrible person, and maybe karma is what has brought all of the losers into my life. I am trying to stay excited about Mr. Nice Guy, although, I am usually not attracted to nice guys! (I know, what is wrong with me!?!?) Generally, I like guys who are cocky or arrogant, and at the very least self-assured. Well on top of Mr. Nice Guy, I have this friend. He's actually one of my very best friends. So he and I have this really weird relationship, and I know that you and I have talked about it a dozen times, but things are getting more intense. We have dated in the past, but never seriously. Now we are in this super awkward extremely flirtatious place. We see each other at least once a week and have lunch or he will come over and I will cook him dinner. He's really sweet and really funny, he's smart and successful, and good looking. The only problem is, I just don't think I can get past the fact that he has slept with a couple of my friends (like 4-5 years ago). I know it shouldn't bother me and I should be excited that I have this great guy in my life, but I'm just not. I feel like I am just using that as an excuse to keep him at arms length. To top it all off, I know that I am leading him on. I play into all of the flirtatiousness and know that I am a super tease. Tonight he is coming over for dinner and he was all excited... so what did I do? I went ahead and invited his best friend. Yeah... don't think he is so excited anymore. I am trying not to give him the wrong idea, but I'm so confused myself, how could he not be confused?! Thank goodness he has never confronted me about any of this. I don't even know what I would do. It's like I've gotten us to this weird place where we can't move forward or move back.
-Eager "I'm a TERRIBLE Friend" Beaver

Eager Beaver,

You are Miss Mixed Messages! Of course arrogant cocky guys seem more fun because they're more of a challenge while Mr. Nice Guy (stable provider, good family man, faithful husband, etc.) seems boring and predictable. In terms of your "friend," yeah, you're being a little mean. You know perfectly well that he wants to take it to the next level (bed you down) and you just keep flirting with him, drawing him in and then pulling the rug out from under him. He must have a mighty hankering for you to put up with all your mixed messages crap. It's interesting though, I wonder if you guys did finally hook-up if the trail would go cold for him. Hard to tell because you're good friends and sometimes the best relationships ever come from what began as a friendship. I think you're confused because a part of your ego doesn't want him comparing you to your friends (who would?) but that's an inherent part of dating: whether you knew the previous girl he dated or not we always wonder how we measure up to the last woman they were with. Doesn't sound like either of you are in a hurry to end your sexy flirty friendship though (probably because both of you fear it will ruin everything) so there's no rush. If he really wants you, he will make a move and then you'll have to decide whether to take this relationship to the next level. In the mean time, enjoy his attention and having a good guy you can flirt with and promise you'll give your date with Mr. Nice Guy from match.com a chance? Still waters run deep! So deep.
-Hot Mama