Catch and Release

Eager Beaver,

I have a friend who dated a man for a month that she met online. And for that month he chased her with everything he had. In this friend's case that meant talking about his spiritual growth, listening to her psychic dreams, writing her detailed emails of his emotional journey and hopes for finding a soul mate, etc. Stuff that makes me gag (mostly because it always seems suspicious to me) but is a total turn-on to my friend. She was head-over-heels for this guy, said she had found her "ethnic-hippie" soul mate. I was genuinely happy for her. Yay, someone had finally found their perfect match! That means there's hope for everyone! Yay, yay, yay! Until...he'd had what he wanted a few times and then suddenly he needed to "find himself" (at 57?) and he needed his "freedom" (after four weeks?). OMG. I'm getting so tired of men. It's seems so depressing and hopeless. How can you trust a one of them? We go into these things with our guards up and so they tell us what we need to hear and our walls begin to crumble and we let them in, ALL the way in, and then, presto change-o, they're gone! It seems every single one of them (from 17 - 70) is all about the hunt and using whatever it will take to land the woman who's in their bullseye and then they take us down, skin us emotionally and leave the carcass. Disgusting analogy I know but doesn't it feel like the truth?
-Hot Mama

Hot Mama,

I completely feel for your friend. It seems like everyone I know has had these same sort of experiences with men. It's like seriously, is this where 2011 is headed?!? Even in the past few weeks I've had a couple of friends dealing with this issue. It's happened to me TWICE in the last year, and it's like WHAT THE FUCK! Remember Mr. Mixed Messages? We went through this multiple times in the eight months that we were dating. He pursued me and sent emails and text messages about how he was falling in love with me and never felt about anyone the way that he felt about me. And then suddenly I would open up and reveal my feelings and he would just VANISH and tell me that I was coming on to strong. We had a horrible ending to our time together... He just stopped talking to me and left the country two weeks after the last time we spoke. Who do they think they are?! I am getting to the point where I wonder why we even bother. They just hurt us and break our hearts. I just don't even know if there are any good ones left. I really don't.
-Sad and Depressed Eager Beaver