After your last response about my hot boss and how he treats me, I have been trying to keep it completely professional. It doesn't help that I have a very flirtatious personality and most times can't really contain myself from flirting with men. I rarely even realize that I am doing it. (I know, this has definitely gotten me into trouble in the past...) Well my boss is back in the office for the week and the flirting has definitely continued. I know that you thought he was married, which is why you told me to steer clear, but he is definitely single. 36 and single, to be exact. Is that too old for me? Haha, well maybe it's not too old for me, but he is my boss, so it is still a good idea to stay away. I just don't know what it is about him that I find so attractive. I think it's mainly his arrogance. He has been off-putting to a lot of our other employees, but treats me completely differently. We are always joking around and laughing and having fun, and there has been some texting messaging back and forth as well.
Nothing of what he has said crosses any lines, but still. This week while he has been here, he has made different comments about my outfits EVERY SINGLE DAY! First he kept commenting about some fish net stockings that I had been wearing.
He kept looking at my legs, and even told me they were "distracting." Whatever that means! Then he was commenting about how high my heels were and how do I walk in those things, etc. I don't want to think anything of it. But today he tells me that he thinks I am in the wrong city and should be living somewhere else since I am so "fancy" and "fashionable." Really, is it REALLY necessary to comment on my outfits every single day?? I wear heels everyday, I like to wear skirts and nice clothes... what's the big deal. Could my outfits really be that "distracting," or is it some kind of weird come-on???-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Here's the deal: your outfits are distracting to a man and leads them to make "weird come-ons". It's just a fact of life. I remember someone once told me to "dress for the job you want." I didn't really get what she meant because I thought I dressed great. Funnily enough, I was dressed too conservatively for the job I wanted in TV. I always wore suits, so I looked more like a lawyer than a TV personality. Then I went the other way and I think I dressed too provocatively because I wore fishnets too and like you, got comments from male co-workers. I think it's interesting that you're going through the same thing and it just confirms, 15 years later, that fishnets probably aren't a great idea unless we worked in the fashion industry. So, I guess you have to ask yourself honestly: do you dress for an engineering company or a PR Firm?
Obviously, your boss is hot for you. And the hot young way you dress just adds fuel to the fire of his desire. I know you already know what the "right" thing to do is (not sleep with your boss) but I also know people want what they want. So, if you do end up going down that road I'd like you to at least really, really think about the immediate repercussions and then the long-term repercussions if you end up having an all-out affair. People are really good at rationalizing: he's not married, he lives out of town, this isn't actually my chosen career blah, blah. It's not a matter of whether or not he's too old for you, that's completely irrelevant, what matters is that he is your boss. He controls the situation. He is the source of your paycheck. It is completely inappropriate for both of you. You may think you have the power with your sexuality, and you do to some degree, but in the end the reality is that he has all the power and if it crashes and burns it could cost both of you more than a roll-in-the-hay is really worth.
-Hot Mama
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