Eager Beaver,
On Monday's "The Bachelorette," one of Vienna's chief complaints for splitting with Jake was that their sex life took a nosedive after a month. A month? Why'd she wait six before bailing? Although, I'm a fine one to talk, I went 10 years without sex except to make our children. My excuse? I didn't know that sex once or twice a week was what was normal. My parents unfortunately didn't provide me with that as an example. And I waited until I was 22 to have sex so I was really at a disadvantage when I met my husband-to-be at 25.
As the saying goes: "live and learn". I was lucky enough to meet someone who gave me a total sexual awakening in my early 40's! (Yes, I'm divorced) Wow, it was eye-opening. I had no idea what sex could be. Again, wow. Now I'm hooked and would never settle again for the what I experienced in my marriage. I totally believe what Dr. Phil says about "sex being 10% of a good marriage but 90% of a bad marriage". The irony is that my Mom, in her 60's, had the same experience (my Dad had passed away)! She was absolutely giddy for the first three years of her relationship (she's still in it, things just naturally settle down again). I had never seen my Mom so happy before in my life. We actually bonded over our simultaneous discovery of mind-blowing sex.
The point is, Eager Beaver, if you're not sure you're having great sex, then you're not. Please, please don't let yourself or your friends settle for anything less than spectacular if you're headed for a committed union because a lifetime is far too long to go without one of nature's most perfect gifts. So, kudos to Vienna for calling it quits before she was too emotionally weak to bail on a relationship that was sure to crash land anyway cuz, ladies, it aint over 'til the fat lady sings!
-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
In my short 23 years of life I have been lucky enough to have already had the most mind-blowing sex. Thank goodness for me I have learned from your mistakes, and didn't have to wait until later in my life to experience this. Sex was not always the most positive experience for me, but that totally changed within this last year. And now that I've had it, there is no possible way that I could ever go back. Now I realize what an essential part it is of any healthy relationship it is, and how fulfilling it can actually be. I don't even know how people can go months or years without it...
I don't know what happened to Jake and Vienna! Although she was slightly trashy and outspoken, they seemed to have so much sexual chemistry on the show. I have to admit I was even happy when Jake picked Vienna, despite the negative press he got for his choice. He followed his heart and they seemend genuinely happy. How did they go from being so passionate about each other to hating each other's guts? I think that Vienna must have been right and Jake was in it for the fame all along. So I say good for Vienna for dumping his sorry ass and going after what she wants. Who wants to be in a relationship where you have to ask someone to kiss you?
The best part is, in this day and age, women don't NEED to be married or in relationships anymore, and we can actually go after what we want. I worry about all of my friends who are jumping into marriages at such a young age, and wonder if they can possibly stand the test of time. If you've never experienced what else is out there, how could you possibly know what's right? Every woman deserves to find someone who can fulfill her not only emotionally and mentally, but also sexually. We are independent women, we don't need a man to financially support us anymore, but it would sure be nice to find one who can wow us in the bedroom!
-Eager Beaver
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